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That Is What I Do
you hurl your glass past my face
smashing it to miserable fragments
reflective rainbows hit the floor
and it's so painfully beautiful
carefully I collect those crystals
breathe inspiration from
the pearlescent diamonds
then cast them away
that is what I do
you stagger around; plastered
whirls of toxins spiral
aimless; liquor bouquets
and her delicate perfume
shroud your masculinity
tenderly I mend your ailments
absorbing creativity
from your solace
repel my hurt
that is what I do
eternity welcomes you today
mountainous eruptions
of emotional lava
floods my senses;
translucent jewels gush freely
from my eye's
vacantly I salvage splinters
of my broken self
and nurse the remains
to transform my masterpiece
that is what I do
smashing it to miserable fragments
reflective rainbows hit the floor
and it's so painfully beautiful
carefully I collect those crystals
breathe inspiration from
the pearlescent diamonds
then cast them away
that is what I do
you stagger around; plastered
whirls of toxins spiral
aimless; liquor bouquets
and her delicate perfume
shroud your masculinity
tenderly I mend your ailments
absorbing creativity
from your solace
repel my hurt
that is what I do
eternity welcomes you today
mountainous eruptions
of emotional lava
floods my senses;
translucent jewels gush freely
from my eye's
vacantly I salvage splinters
of my broken self
and nurse the remains
to transform my masterpiece
that is what I do
Published 15th Jul 2012
| Edited 20th Jul 2012
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 15
reading list entries 0
comments 24
reads 1116
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
15th Jul 2012 12:09pm
I found this poem quite depressing, like being stuck in a dysfunctional relationship. There's a lack of hope, more a resignation that this is what conspires in an endless spiral between the two characters. But is saying all that, I love the language you've used in this. Whether or not I like the poem is kind of irrelevant. The language and imagery is wonderfully evocative, and it's great to see you pushing the boundaries of your writing.
Peace, Indie
Peace, Indie
Thank you Indie. Good to see someone with your talent stop by to comment.
Definitely a dysfunctional relationship between the two. Like a woman with Stockholm syndrome.
I am glad that I was able to evoke with the language. I try hard to not ever sound cliche.
Thanks again! :)
Definitely a dysfunctional relationship between the two. Like a woman with Stockholm syndrome.
I am glad that I was able to evoke with the language. I try hard to not ever sound cliche.
Thanks again! :)
15th Jul 2012 12:40pm
"Reflect rainbows off the floor" read a bit strange with the "off" but I read over it and it works ok.
Love the abstract imagery with the splinters, the lava and eruptions.
Sometimes I think you try to be a bit too technical with your word choice, I'm guilty of this too. It can hinder the raw emotions which poems like this offer. Saying that, I really liked the ideas and how you got them across.
Another well crafted piece, Rachel.
Love the abstract imagery with the splinters, the lava and eruptions.
Sometimes I think you try to be a bit too technical with your word choice, I'm guilty of this too. It can hinder the raw emotions which poems like this offer. Saying that, I really liked the ideas and how you got them across.
Another well crafted piece, Rachel.
Hey! Yeah, I struggled a little bit with that line before I just decided to move on, and maybe come back to it later.
Maybe it works, but to me throws the flow off a little. I will ponder it more.
I love that you call it abstract imagery. To me that is a great compliment.
I actually have a hard time NOT being technical. I tend to be a realist, and find it hard sometimes to let that go.
Thank you so much for stopping by and leaving your kind words. :)
Maybe it works, but to me throws the flow off a little. I will ponder it more.
I love that you call it abstract imagery. To me that is a great compliment.
I actually have a hard time NOT being technical. I tend to be a realist, and find it hard sometimes to let that go.
Thank you so much for stopping by and leaving your kind words. :)
15th Jul 2012 5:29pm
Rachel this is the first of your poems I have read outside of a competition and I am kicking myself for not doing so earlier. I really enjoyed reading this
15th Jul 2012 10:33pm
Well I am thrilled to have left a great first impression then.
Thank you for stopping by Levi! :)
Thank you for stopping by Levi! :)
Anonymous
15th Jul 2012 8:52pm
Very nice Racel and with great word combos.
Strider :)
Strider :)
15th Jul 2012 10:34pm
Thank you! I am glad that the word combos work here.
Thank you for stopping by Strider. :)
Thank you for stopping by Strider. :)
16th Jul 2012 1:19am
This is what you do here.
Share words that give sight to minds and yes, smell to color.
Strength in fragility strikes me as I read this.
Share words that give sight to minds and yes, smell to color.
Strength in fragility strikes me as I read this.
16th Jul 2012 2:59am
"smell to color"
haha, thanks for that :D
Yes, that is what I was trying to portray, a fragile strength. Glad you picked that up.
Thanks for your kind words, Ken, much appreciated.
haha, thanks for that :D
Yes, that is what I was trying to portray, a fragile strength. Glad you picked that up.
Thanks for your kind words, Ken, much appreciated.
16th Jul 2012 7:41am
I can relate to this Rachel, it speaks of much strength to me in fragile difficult times. The eggshells I walked on hurt my feet so much.
Excellent as always. :)
Excellent as always. :)
16th Jul 2012 5:12pm
It's sad that so many can relate. I am glad I was able to get the right emotion across though.
Ah, I know all to well how those egg shells feel, as well as how loudly they crack when stepped on.
Thank you much for the read and your kind words.
Ah, I know all to well how those egg shells feel, as well as how loudly they crack when stepped on.
Thank you much for the read and your kind words.
16th Jul 2012 11:29am
I have said it is not about what breaks us, but how we put the pieces back together.
Your words are always so very eloquent.
Gorgeous, Rachel!!
Your words are always so very eloquent.
Gorgeous, Rachel!!
16th Jul 2012 5:15pm
You are so right Melissa. Thank you for those words, for stopping by, and for being so kind. Much appreciated. :)
Anonymous
16th Jul 2012 5:30pm
I feel a great sadness emanate from this write and you create the feeling of resignation while continuing-so beautifully-well done, as always...Peace, Miki
16th Jul 2012 5:57pm
Miki! Great to see you around! :)
"resignation while continuing"
Yes, exactly.
Thank you for seeing that.
So glad you stopped by and left your kind words! Thank you so much! :)
"resignation while continuing"
Yes, exactly.
Thank you for seeing that.
So glad you stopped by and left your kind words! Thank you so much! :)
17th Jul 2012 3:50am
Although we can't change others, we can keep from giving up on them; your ability to sit in the fire of this agony of panic is a wonderful display of your talent to use the broken shards to construct a something worth holding on to. The rainbow on the ground, to me, was the light that eventually falls below us as the grounding of our experiences and worked for me. How long, longer? Until the insights stop coming and you have squeezed the lessons and your eyes dry.
17th Jul 2012 5:01am
:D That is really great stuff you said there. Thank you so much for your feedback. I truly appreciate it!
20th Jul 2012 12:33pm
Rachel.
Some great imagery you create while working the words. all the study is paying dividends for you.
"you stagger around; plastered
whirls of toxins spiral
aimless; liquor bouquets
and her delicate perfume
shroud your masculinity"
really great stuff!
Some great imagery you create while working the words. all the study is paying dividends for you.
"you stagger around; plastered
whirls of toxins spiral
aimless; liquor bouquets
and her delicate perfume
shroud your masculinity"
really great stuff!
20th Jul 2012 1:17pm
Thanks Eamonn!
I really appreciate your fine comb. :)
Thank you for taking the time to comment.
I really appreciate your fine comb. :)
Thank you for taking the time to comment.
Anonymous
20th Jul 2012 2:36pm
You have taken an ugly relationship and made it into a beautiful poem. Your skill as a poet dazzles. Agree with all of the above who found this piece stellar.
Peace
Kitty
Peace
Kitty
20th Jul 2012 5:23pm
Thanks Kitty! It means a lot that you think so. Your comments are always appreciated! :)
21st Aug 2012 8:48pm
21st Aug 2012 10:06pm
