Living Nightmare

I’ve stopped wishing you were here.

I’ve stopped wanting to share the beauties of the earth with you.

I’ve stopped grasping the cold air next to my hand in hopes that your hand would end up in mine.

I’ve stopped searching every face in the room for yours because nowadays, i tend to look right past without even realizing it.

It surprises me to find that I am letting go of you because you are the only thing I’ve ever held onto.

I’m sorry I cannot love you forever even though I loved you more than forever times the amount you loved me.

I just wish that we could feel the way the earth moved beneath our feet as we turned the stars upside down once more.

The other night I dreamed you brought flowers to my house
but instead of giving them to me, you tied me naked to a chair and shoved them down my throat

You stuck two dozen roses down my mouth to replace the parts of you that had been there.

I started crying because I couldn't smell the roses, I only smelled you.

My tears came out as bloody petals and you licked them off of my cheeks.

You broke my heart by piercing it with roses and I still can't live with the fact that it wasn't my fault.

You're my living nightmare and I can't get enough of you.