Razor Blade, Where Art Thou?

razor blade razor blade
where art thou?
sliding across
creating a gouge

I'm hiding, I'm cutting
the razors my friend
it helps take away
the pain that I'm in

making the rivers
run red and drip down
these are my tears
crying? what's that? I forgot how

it's not suicide I'm after
just carving a release
was that a typo?
all I want is some peace

tell the voices to shut up
will they ever go away?
to satisfy them
this is the price I must pay

slashing my arms
and cutting my flesh
creating new scars
old wounds coming fresh

it's thrilling, it's chilling
do you see my pain?
the millions of scars
blood dripping like rain

onto my sheets
onto my floor
I'm making a mess
so let's cut me some more

watching it drip
watching it pool
I smile to myself
that's kinda cool

it is my secret
the one I will hide
the pain that I'm in
guess what, it's mine

I pull down my sleeves
done with my task
"Oh I'm just cold"
if you were to ask

could it be wrong?
is it a sin?
maybe it would stop
but then who would win?

wouldn't I give up?
haven't I already?
isn't that why
I'm sliced up and bloody?

I'm covered in cuts
from my head to my toe
did you cut again?
of course not I, never, and no

I would never do that
no never not me
I'm the good little girl
isn't that what you see?

you don't see a person
if only I could cry
not a person in pain
the tears, they only run dry

and so I must bleed
and so I must slice
do you see all the red?
it's my only vice

my only addiction
a long road to haul
will I be rid of it?
never a little, never at all

it will always be there
among all the rest 
metal and glass
though I like this one the best

how can I hurt?
let's find a new way
are you all right?
Of COURSE I'm ok

perhaps we will cut
it's just another stitch
and nobody notices
this poor little bitch

what's going on?
the voices are screaming
they want my attention
and they're not leaving

until they get it
til they're in control
til they've taken me over
til the've taken their toll

a few more marks
that's all they request
a few hundred more
to go with the rest

a way to express,
my form and my art
do you see my arms?
that comes from my heart

it's beautiful to me
the shapes, and the lines
why won't you see it?
expressed one more time

all the pain that I'm feeling
the pain that I'm in
it's not really physical
but held from within

I don't know what to do
to balance it out
where I am going?
this isn't a shout

it's not help that I want
it's not attention I crave
it's a secret I'd take
straight to my grave

you'll never understand
nor come to know
what's it's like for me
and I'll never show

it's pure heaven
I believe I'm in bliss
watch the pain taken away
I'll cut and not miss

I'll hit on a vein
then sit and stare
as the blood pours out
and I couldn't care

that's not what I'm after
myself I shall save
this is my method
this is what I crave

I want to be alive
to see the day after
but until then I'm covered
in my bright red warm lather

it keeps me alive?
keeps me from dying?
is it dangerous?
my replacement for crying?

you cannot stop
what you cannot see
please don't take
this heaven from me

it gives me some comfort
it's my method to cope
and above all of this
it gives me some hope

that I may want to live
that I'll no longer hurt
that I'll go through my life
and I'll not want it short

I'll have reason for living
a will to get up
what am I thinking?
my life is fucked up

I'll never change
or so I've been told
I've given up trying
that quickly grows old

I grow weary of life
and antsy of change
my life is quite boring
and the source of my pain

I am quickly becoming
the source of my pain
the life that I'm living
is leaving me drained

a day without energy
a day without drive
who would want to live like this?
certainly not I

is suicide my answer?
is death what I desire?
on one side it's death
on the other it's fire

would it stop?
even if I died?
or would I still
just want to hide?

from life. from love
from all of those reasons
the ones that keep me here
I'll die in due season

so for now it's a loss
of course I wouldn't win
I'll cut myself now
and I'll do it again

it's just on my arm
one cut, and one slice
and then on my leg
we're doing it twice

over and over
the rivers appear
deep and red
representing my fear

of dying of leaving
the loved ones behind
they keep me on living
my peace I'll not find

and so one more time
it's only a scratch
and now I can make
my out and in match