my cat

fallen rocks
broken crushed
once where steps to mountains altars of peace god spark kindness
dead the creates butterflies rabbits elk
my cat my dear cat
tears fall warm
warm killed not in times of long ago
my dear cat
sat on my head
walked across each shoulder putting that tail in my face
always jumped on me when ever i got conformable
then i groaned
but always
jump in my lap and purr
then we'd play with a twig
tug-o-war
it was fun
i just let my kitty win
then walk a few feet like the world was ruled my her with the stick in her mouth
put the stick down the laid down and groomed herself
after just looked at me
i moved to pet her
rolled over by my leg
i tickled her belly
she snuggled next to me
laid her head down fell asleep
i'd just spend forever with my kitty
creating changing removing my world while she was next to me
now she's in my arms mutilated cut up
torn from neck to ovaries
insides all bloody the neck spine
it was cut and put though the heart intestines wrapped around it sick just sick
tears fell and fell
i looked at her never got to say goodbye
i tried and tried to give her a moment more
no
my greatest creation my closest friend dead
all the parts all the grass the trees the other little animals the buildings altars
where nothing next to her
it wasn't just another creation
it took to itself vary young it was a part of my heart
the rawest most virginic part
it was a being
it was close to a soul
for all i know it was a soul
it wasn't in my control
it was itself a virgin no capacity for hate anger lust desire
she sought only a companion and joy
but the whole world was gone
just torn apart
desecrated
black... red all around
all my altars violated
my garden
my flours
thorns now brown dead left with razes for thorns
my stares my connections
looked more like snares
hot from coals fire
my clock my great joke of how time has no effect on the mind love soul
my world ticked to it wasn't even mine wind went back and forth to its tick
parasites everywhere every plant grew fast grew to destroy its neighbor kill more parasites in its traps not for survival but for power domination
two beast came call them wolf is you will
but these weren't animals savages they went after a rabbit i saw from afar
walk towards them to all the animals lay dead fungus scavengers all feasted
when the got close they came for me
angry hateful half human only a human can look at another man in through
eyes only humans can be evil
all this was barren land dark with ashes of grass now
they circled me just two
knew better
they saw the cat in my arms they laugh in their sick little way
then i got mad
my sweet cat my friend they showed me how she was killed put on a table and cut up alive
i felt he was close
they thought they where safe
but its my mind its my darkside
i willed and it became
both of their skins ripped off down the middle
disappearing fur
i cast them out
to the edge that place i call the bin
i jump down its all white scary
then i'm back in my body in this world
everything created is enveloped by white then just vanishes
its liquid moving like there little gravity
now their a memory
he's here as i look back
"its your fault you know remember when you prayed to die?
those months you warship Lucifer the right one?
your prayer has come true someone let me out
o got that little kitty huh... miss your little kitty?
your so selfless look you cry... you wished it would have died peacefully"
"i'm not i miss her i want her back... the way you killed her was sick"
i willed him hurt he fell to his knees
"my dum friend you can't kill me without me you can't even hurt tala she left you to protect herself... o alexa she left you to protect herself to... like how she fuck her boyfriend her new one, she promised loyalty to us... well you really... then your her only loyal friend who she tells all about it and gets mad when you say stop... it hurt so much to wait that long didn't it. then for her to be mad, she should warship you, she should love you, it hurts to think about... i understand, if she was here you should be able to slap her then grab her ass and fuck her like the hoe she is, you want it, you want her loyalty to huh her love just sit together talk about whatever have her cuddle with you kids marriage she burned you bad... i'm sorry about the cat   she had to go all this care... you shouldn't care love, your so much better than this turning the other check, you could have so much... like the decor power to the strong no holding up the weak, you look at yourself so poorly... you can play the winner to you know? not the loser... caring love kindness its holding you back
come with me now obey me let me take a little control"
"i'm wrong to want my cat alexa tala
i'm wrong to want power
i'm wrong to want... any of this
go now you can't make happen as you say anyway
i have to live with myself to
my ange"
"don't say that!
god this
want to love take care of someone
i shouldn't its wrong
and on you go
i want this dam body i want control like i should
make others cry cut them drink their blood
rape them
you let me out in controlled burst
acting like all you think about is sex
i can't get hurt if i drive everyone away
o ya like people that are like that aren't gonna show up one day
i'll make you fuck them when they do
i'll bring you back to where you should be
i'll take over and kill someday
you can't lock me in forever
have a nice world
enjoy it"
he left quickly
went to his cage
this is sick
but my sins have to manifest i guess this is my prayer really
i miss that cat
i can't believe thats myself
but i'm told it isn't
its a shade of me and a whole lot of wrong
i look at my cat
i swore she purred softly
her hair fell off going out slowly blood started seeping into her
slowly she faded layer by layer
bit by bit
skin then mussels intestines liver kiddy heart veins i was in shock
i put my hand on her head
to pet her (i'm crying it left a scare still to write this)
she vanished her hair was left in air floating it took from of her
she brushed it across me that furry tail i smiled and closed my eyes
then i felt her leave that little bit of hair disappeared
blue-white smoke rushed into me
some part stayed and the rest left
she gave me a power of sorts sometimes i can be in her world
when i open my eyes i was on a wool blanket my world blank
no white liquid below
just nothing
she loved wool
liked to climb and tear with her claws
she wiped the world clean so i can rebuild
we play but its always short too short
she knows i don't belong their though just a minute or two
i miss her though i can't see her often
only when things get real bad
its weird
its dark
but it happened