Another fuck-up, that's me

I'm just gonna do one more fuck up, and that will be the end of it. The end of it all, one more little fuck-up, nothing big, nothing small, just something, something worth remembering. Come on baby, don't act like it's a surprise, I'm a train-wreck and I always has been, you know that, it's why you love me, because I'm just something you pick up and play with, I'm too weak to tell you not too. I'm too weak to tell you to fuck off, or be gentle, or be better, or don't hate me, or anything and everything. Baby please, you know all this, I'm not saying anything new, I'm not screaming anything you haven't heard before, I'm just crying and moaning and whispering all my weaknesses like I always do when you demand me like this. When you pierce me, when you penetrate my soul with your anger. You've always hated me, you've always been poison running through my veins. Or maybe I'm the poison one, because you can't leave me be either. You're like cocaine, you know that? You just numb me completely, I can't feel a fucking thing whenever this happens, nothing. Numbness is happiness, isn't that what you always say? Oh fuck this, fuck it all, or should I fuck her? Is that what you want? 'Cause you know I'll do it, as much as I hate to admit it, I'd do anything you say, anything.

I'm just gonna make one more fuck-up, ok, just one more, and then all of this will be over. Just one more.

And who know, maybe it will involve this jar of pills, or that knife or these sheets. Maybe there will be fluids, red, white and see-through, maybe, just maybe.