[ex]cited

one day, I will find the right words.
and they will be simple.
but simplicity never really worked
for someone like me, so I say
I love you- like a man loves a woman he never touches.
only writes to, keeps photographs of.
or, what did my arms do
before they held you.

and time is steady moving. I asked
how long I had you for
and you said -'it'll take you eternities to get rid of me'
and we both smiled at the irony.
of everything.
like these words.
and being alone never felt right.
sometimes it felt good- but it never felt right.
and then you.
took the words out of my fingers and left me with this.
speaking in stolen words.

and I ask, will you love me in december
as you do in may
and you laugh. with that smile that
could make a man almost believe in god.
and the only way to find true happiness
is to risk being completely cut open-
and I offer you my chest.
rip it to pieces- because unbeing dead, isn't being alive.
and you make me want to live.

and whatever, however this ends, I want you to know
that right now- I love you forever.
because I don't give up on shit like that-
I always knew I'd find you, even before we met
and when I found you
I always knew
that one day you'd see it too.
and yes, the story of love is a long sad tale
that ends in graves.
but I want yours
to be next to mine
because even death isn't strong enough
to end this.

and it takes courage to grow up and become who you really are
and I'm still working on it, but I am nothing original
just the combined efforts of everyone
I have ever known.

especially, you.