Surviving The Storm

you were a dervish of unintelligible words
and projectiles
from the moment I stepped through the door
a tornado of frenzy
your allure hiding nervous disorders
as if you’re waiting for me to blow up
the world
scamper off into the night to leave
you scraping through desolation and rubble
like last time
the time before

I understand
so I let the plate you threw hit me
leaving a spray of ceramic and
a trickle of red to run down my cheek
as a mockery of tears
the shaker hit my shoulder
then the wall before it showered glass shards and
salt that plumed like snow

in a maelstrom you landed on my chest
hammering your fists into me
as loud as thunder
until you sprained your wrist
your tears stained my shirt

I pull you to me
drag you in
crush you
until you can’t
hit me anymore
shhhhh I whisper
as sobs wrack your body in shuddering
earthquakes that rattle
to your feet

“Fuck, you”
just
“Fuck you”
“Why do you make me feel less!
How the fuck do you break me
every time”

I have no answers
because I’m lost

you look up beseech me to
to make it ok
to help you get past what I did
and all I can think
is how stark and bare and honest
that look of pain and terror is
as the wind and rain dredge up
all the bodies we thought we’d buried

I drag you to my lips
we fall into our own version
of a storm
you ram me back into the wall hitting me once more
I grab your wrist
and spin you
locking my arm over your chest
like a seat belt
my lips next to your ear

in the struggle your face flushes
 
and right there I disappeared
leaving the mangled wreckage of
every pretty broken thing
to stir beneath grasping fingers
and a tempest of what ifs whispering against
the back drop stench of rotting limbs