Regrets

It was at a campground in Virginia Beach... Fat boy took us camping.  It was my first time.  It was a small tent that barely held us and our sleeping bag.  Fat Boy was about 350 lbs and I was heavier right then at about 200. This was summer 1994 and very hot.

We got there at 4pm.  We stocked munchies for two days in the car.  No room in the tent.  We had stopped on the way at a Ponderosa and he had pigged out. After the tent was up he went to shit in the woods. I pointed out the bathrooms but he wanted to shit in the woods.  I found out later that he had a boyfriend who followed us down from where we were living in PA.  He was meeting HIM in the wooded area to exchange blowjobs.

I sat in a lawn chair we brought looking around wondering why people did this.  Nearby, a couple were arguing and he hit her. There was a playground where kids were taking turns on the one old swing. I was bored. I grabbed a towel out of the car and went to shower as I felt grubby from the heat and the car ride.

It was a cinder block building with restrooms on one side and showers on the other and the showers were large and perhaps six altogether and the only privacy seemed to be heavy shower curtains of tent like material.  They were not separated by sex like the toilets.  Perhaps it was assumed you would be showering in a bathing suit?  No one was.

There was a pool a short distance away but it was closed for cleaning despite the sign hours saying it was open til 6pm. Maybe something to do with the hot weather. I went into an area and pulled the heavy curtain closed. I guess after showering you left the curtain open.  I removed my clothes and put them on a bench away from the water. I had forgotten soap so it was just a rinse.  I wondered if Fat Boy was done and back at the tent?  We had been married Iess than a year and he had already beaten me two or three times.  He also beat his mother and she kicked us out.

My big escape via marriage was to the house across the street from my mother!  The shower felt great and it seemed unlimited hot water.  Despite wanting to refresh and cool off - I was running it steaming. It soothed my body from the 7 hour car ride. 15 minutes of heaven.

Fat Boy was back when I returned and he demanded to know where I'd been and he even accused me of meeting up with someone!  Typical, accuse someone of what you had been doing!  He grabbed me by the throat and told me he'd kill me if I cheated on him.  He announced he was driving down to the resort strip to a bar and he'd be back and he'd expect head.  He left and all I had was the tent, sleeping bag and chair. My purse was even in the car. Wait!  I still had my towel!

"FUCK YOU STUPID CUNT" said the guy who had hit the girl half an hour earlier. He jumped in his truck and left his wife safely behind!  So far the shower was the only good part of camping. So far...

The other girl from the nearby tent walked over and handed me a beer. "Men! I swear I'd just fuck girls if they could get me pregnant! You been with your asshole long?"  I laughed.  It wasn't that funny as my throat still hurt and she had a black eye.

"He's gonna do like your man and go get drunk and horny and come back for head." There is little privacy camping. "I think your man's bravado gave mine the idea...so thanks! It's more peaceful without him."  She stuck out her hand and told me her name was Suzy.
"I'm only with him til he knocks me up and then I'm gone!  He's Navy and I'll take him for everything including half his pay!"

I drank the beer and had to pee.  I got up and headed to the restroom and she followed me. "I might as well take a whiz, too."  At least she didn't follow me into the same stall!  I was starting to wonder!  Reflecting years later - I wish she had!  We washed our hands and walked back to her tent since she had drinks and it was still 90°.  She asked why I was with my husband crudely saying, "He's blubber!"  She told me i was too cute to be with him!

"I'm not cute." I protested and she touched my face and told me I was. I started crying because all my life I was told I was nothing by my family and then Fat Boy and here was a stranger complimenting me.  (I was at a loss for words so I'll just say here 31 yrs later that strangers have always been better to me than supposed loved ones).

We sat there for a couple hours and she made me feel like I was somebody. I wanted to kiss her and do other stuff I knew.  But understand I WANTED TO KISS AND LICK HER AND MAKE HER CUM!  I wanted that so bad!  We drank and I was horny for her.  I looked at her in her t-shirt and shorts and I imagined her naked.  I was so spaced out imagining kissing my way down to her goodies that I didn't hear her husband's truck return. She told me it was nice talking and she gave me a beer to take over to Fat Boy's tent.  Fat Boy came back after one AM too drunk to get it up.

I found out years later that he had gone off with his boyfriend.  He confessed everything after he came out.  Or, I should say that he threw it all in my face and blamed me and his mother for being a homo...his word.  She told him at age 13 he was a little queer boy when she caught him with a neighbor boy.  I met him 5 years later - so how is it my fault?

I wonder if I would have made a move on Suzy if I had known my husband's boyfriend Cole was there at the campground and that my Fat Boy had sucked his dick three times? Same guy Fat Boy's Mom had caught him with!

Sorry that this remembrance isn't filled with hot sex. Maybe I should mention that I sometimes pull down my panties and touch myself while I think of her and what I had wished I had done and how I wished it had played out!  This was not the only time we went camping there.  I think I only went back hoping Suzy would be there!