To be a dude for 3 days...

I'm not not going to identify...
I'm going to stiplify that...
something I can never have
is a long wiggly magic male wand!

A dick. A cock. A pussyslammer.
Call it your Willy Wonka. I don't care.
I don't have one...but it would be nice
to have one for a short time!  Flip side!

To not bleed...or worry about seed -
just to get my "rocks" off...
and walk away!  That's to say...
the whole macho experience!

I know they aren't all like that! Some CLING!
But too many are jerks.  I guess if I had a penis -
I'd be a jerk.  Would you make me sandwiches?
Wow!  Stereotypes do go both ways. Right?

Give me a big fat johnson for three days!
First two days I'll play with it!  I'll use
every tissue in the fucking house and
fill everyone's socks with jizz!!!

Deal with it!  Where do you think all
the world's missing socks go? Someone
filled them with man juice!  They are
discarded everywhere but the sock drawers!

We admit to tossing out panties! "I'm buying
panties cause I had a heavy period and
some got stained!"  How hard is it for him
to say..."You weren't in the mood so...

I JIZZED EVERYONE'S SOCKS! Yep, even
Grandma...and the baby...yep, your sister -
So, while you are out buying panties could
you pick up 40 pairs of socks, dear?"

"Tissues, too! Toilet paper. Coffee filters.
Bathroom curtains...NO I'm not a sex addict!
How often are we suppose to douche the
dog? Oh, and grab a big jar of peanut butter!"

Ok, I'm not a guy and never will be.  I
Can't walk the walk or talk the talk.  I
wouldn't know the male way to pick up
a girl.  Is it a stupid corny line?  Is it?

I can go pee in the ladies room and see
a girl crying and give her a hug and then
a kiss and then us two straight chicks
are making out in a stall!  It has happened!

I can wear my lucky red bandana into a
bar and get luckier than a guy in a vest
and shiny new boots.  "Howdy partner."
OMG!  Brokeback bar cruising!  Yep!!!

The final day having a huge mandingo...
I'd be begging girls everywhere to suck it!
Bars. Laundromats. Church. I would strike
out just like they do...until jail.  Yikes!

Do guys think the same?  If I was a girl
I'd go out to dinner and never have to pay!
Do they realize the creepiness of dinner
dates?  The intent of guys asking?

They want to pay for a $40 dinner and
after a drink or two think you will fuck
or suck and risk pregnancy and disease!
Night after night gets weary.  Why?

I didn't grow up normal. But courtship seems
a major perv act!  Laws and social norms curtail
just getting the $40 and using a condom in the front
seat of his car so we both get something out of it.

Guys do have it easier. I know i would be a
jerk if I had a penis. "Don't worry, Baby...I won't
cum in your mouth. Oops. Sorry not sorry!"
I almost forgot...I'd pee my name in the Snow!