Fast and Furious

So, my countrymen have decided  
     to embrace...and celebrate...  
                organized stupidity.  
 
So it is written.  
So let it be done.  
 
And may they learn the hard way  
     how to bring order  
     to their own thoughts  
     and actions.  
 
Though unnecessary...  
as forethought would have done the job.  
 
So stub your toes, America!  
     Fuck around and find out.  
     Go ahead. Reach out.  
     Get a good grip on that  
          spinning table saw blade!  
 
Maybe they'll cast you
               in a Jackass movie.  
 
Whatever you do,  
     don't try to improve yourself,  
      like some elitist college boy...  
           or epidemiologist.  
 
You get you a good disease!  
You'll show them!  
Fuck your family and friends anyway.  
 
Screw NASA and their compliance test  
space suit rules!  
 
Less air on the moon  
     just means more freedumb.  
 
Atmospheres are all woke!  
 
Wallow long and hard  
in your emotional duress,  
     and kick that therapist to the curb.  
 
Don't be a pussy!  
     Work tougher, not smarter!  
 
Sloppily carry more loaded Glocks!  
Waste your money on more gasoline!  
     Piss your neighbors off.  
     Be loud and proud !!! And...  
     make as many enemies as you can!  
 
Because you're a fucking dipshit warrior!  
 
Then do it all again on meth...  
because you don't want anyone
              to think you're a pussy, right?  
 
Peer pressure must be right,  
because how could so many bullies  
     possibly be wrong?  
 
Make sure your boss gets the bread  
and keep the shit sandwich shit for yourself.  
 
When you get appendicitis  
     you chop that shit out on your own  
     just to show how gangsta you are...  
 
now that self-sabotage is America's  
newest vocation.    
 
     And don't go back to school.  
 
Half a wit is better than none, eh?  
So no need to bother with the other half,  
     and you should gouge out an eyeball  
     Just to prove how right you are!  
 
I'm sure you know best.