chlorine

 
my heart was frozen in chlorine
it ache poison
my toxicity not lost on me

pure need and affection felt
but somehow altered by my insecurity
incessant doubt hurt my soul
in it's depths swallowed
where I descend into madness

trauma based fears insult, the love inside me
my tears bitter expression
cultivating my sin

my sincerity of feeling was surpassed by my jealousy
my envious attacks, marred me
ugliness prevailed and I couln't see beauty anymore

tenderness became callousness
and my gentle nature rough
transforming into what I hate

my offering of peace reached my eyes
my scars testimony of my ability to love no matter what
infidelity hurts but it would not be my ruin

I would not shelter in the arms of another
vengenance I would not seek
waiting for your love I keep my thoughts close
my lips confess I still love you
regret would not claim me, utterly