James Gang

Life in lockdown, no different for me,
I lived it all wild, and I lived it all free.
Posters on the windows, "No mask, no serve!"
"Don’t enter bare-faced. You’ve got some nerve!"

But out I’d go in, lanyard 'round my neck,
Snap a selfie, give a cheeky peck,
To Instagram with vids, “Mr Exempt”
Mockin' the masks felt so contempt.

Me and Snooper, down the leprechaun’s lane,
Mobility car, she weren’t the same,
Up to L-Town, we’d head for a score,
Boxes o’ weed, rip-offs galore.

Drive down Pembz, drop off the stash,
Sellin’ by ounces, dealers move fast,
Snooper, stocky, a Cockney lad,
Short fuse, temper made ‘em all mad.

Locals ‘n’ Dirty Harry stayed shook,
No Wild West here, just Haverfordwest's nook,
We were the James Gang, Rocco, and Snooper,
Sales were smooth, like slick manoeuvres.

At the leprechaun’s, Taco Tuesday was every day,
Beers and blazin’, a proper party, I say!
Till one day up L-Town way,
The Gypsies’ gear made our day sway.

Boys in blue pulled us, on the M4 flyin’,
Speedin' along, no use denyin’.
“95 in a 70, mate, what’s the deal?
Smellin' like cannabis, is that real?”

I said, “Officer, nah, that ain’t right,”
But Snooper’s stash was hid outta sight.
“Search the car, you won’t find nowt,”
But the rozzers knew what it was all about.

In the backseat, Snooper’s mistake,
Ounces o’ weed, we couldn’t fake.
Told Snooper, “Bruv, you’ll have to take the blame,
I’ve got a new baby girl, can’t ruin her name.”

Up in the cells, we landed hard,
Kickin' the door, screamin’ for the yard.
Blood pressure risin’, nurse tryna calm,
“Take a walk outside, mate, stay outta harm.”

Snooper told the cops, “Ease off him, alright?”
They let me out early, to my delight.
No licence, but they let me drive,
Spinnin’ ‘round the block, feelin’ alive.

Waited for Snooper to stroll out free,
Then, back to the leprechaun’s lair were we.
Bought crates o' beer, and with a cheer,
Rejoiced in our freedom, loud and clear.