Casual interest

Behind me …
There’s a river
Taking my memories downstream
Washing every colour away
Bleaching every blemish
Obliterating each scar

Rendering memory obsolete

Low mood leaves me……. feeling like I’ve betrayed you
You deserve far better
Than my casual interest
More connection
Than I could ever commit to

Tiredness overcomes
I want to let go
Even though there’s no where to go
Let these chemicals churn
In an effort to turn
Sadness into a smile
So I could artificially stay a while
 
Pretending
Even though I know
This is only for show
After which
I may well switch
Back into a state of emptiness
Hoping for completeness

The river still flows
No matter how I feel
Crossing the land
Unending in its pursuit
Finding the level
All I can think of is, oh well…