Wednesday

 

help me find my way
down the dark and twisted path
I have no faith in people
the ones I've trusted let me down
it hurts bitterly

the only one I blame is myself
making the wrong choices
letting them inside my sacred heart
they took me for granted
looked at vulnerability as a game to play

I will not choose someone new
I no longer trust myself
to choose loving people
your love is all-encompassing you allow me to make mistakes
my loneliness is complete there is no human that can compare

I've delved into the deepest depths
I have scoured the heavens
seeking companionship that understood my soul

toil in the filth they're just moths who desire your glitter
hurt upon hurt it is painful knowledge to know the truth
no wealth or power could persuade me
your love is complete but I am unsure of my dedication
lusting for a being I can't see and touch

humanity while yet charming looks right through me
so I understand the grief you feel
Adonai my promises kept
you come close then pull back
it's something I'm quite used to I'm too intense

understanding your want
a woman who can stand up for herself
given any situation

in the immortal sense, I am merely a teen
it takes a lot to evolve a soul
a lot of different feelings to grow
can I persuade you to stay

I will interact with the other humans
but you know no matter how nice I am
they're going to piss me off
relatable fury in the thick of things
it makes me burn with hatred
then comes guilt and sadness

most of them know I will internalize my rage
then they are surprised
and dismayed when I let it go
this darkened mischief must go somewhere
I can only hold a monster by its tale for so long

intervention Adonai is needed
these are your people
are they reflecting your feelings for me
or is this their own personal view

I am climbing the stars to where you are
creating a plane I can play on
self-exiling so I can play with the creatures I created
to share my love and my personal amusement