deepundergroundpoetry.com
The Train
I took the train again
to see if you'd be there
all I heard were complaints
from passengers about the delay
to reach the next station
for relatives were waiting there
I wonder
will you be on this train one day?
to see if you'd be there
all I heard were complaints
from passengers about the delay
to reach the next station
for relatives were waiting there
I wonder
will you be on this train one day?
Written by
Grace
(IDryad)
Published 24th Aug 2024
| Edited 25th Aug 2024
Author's Note
Inspired by a competition
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 5
reading list entries 1
comments 15
reads 176
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The author is looking for friendly feedback.
Re. The Train
24th Aug 2024 11:51pm
Your enjambments are superb in this Grace! I enjoyed both the imagery and the sentimentality.
1
Re: Re. The Train
24th Aug 2024 11:54pm
Hi Ahavati, thank you for the RL. and for coming by and reading. 🌹Trains remind me of many things. Final destinations...train to nowhere...😄
Re. The Train
25th Aug 2024 5:13am
It looks spot on for the comp to me
and it's got emotion in it as well,
no mean feat for just eight lines.
and it's got emotion in it as well,
no mean feat for just eight lines.
0
Re: Re. The Train
25th Aug 2024 5:41pm
Re. The Train
25th Aug 2024 5:28am
Hahaha, this reminds us of a similar situation from our youth, but we never saw her again. Tight
1
Re: Re. The Train
25th Aug 2024 5:42pm
Re. The Train
25th Aug 2024 2:51pm
Hey Grace, is that you waiting for the train? If so, it's a lovely station & also a lovely picture (you paint). 😊
1
Re: Re. The Train
25th Aug 2024 5:46pm
Hi Billy.. thanks for reading and commenting 😁no that's just an accompanying picture but she has that look of waiting to me😄
Re: Re. The Train
26th Aug 2024 00:01am
Oh yes, she's waiting alright because she has just the right measure of expressed boredom, lol. 😉
1
Re: Re. The Train
25th Aug 2024 5:54pm
Re. The Train
Re. The Train
22nd Sep 2024 9:22pm
Regardless of the circumstances, we should always have some hope.
Nicely done
Nicely done
1
Re: Re. The Train
23rd Sep 2024 3:23am
you are so right Wally:) we should. Thank you for reading me as always, you are so appreciated.