Irrelevancy

I enjoyed the matter-of-fact nature of this, it holds a certain charming awkwardness.. Only quibble is a couple of commas, one after 'and' in line 9 and after 'ether' in line 14.

Either way, it's adorable and i thank you for a read that i understand all too well!

AWESOME read... charming awkwardness is a fan-flipping-tastic phrase.

I see what you mean. I actually have to look that up, because I think I could have it technically accurate, dividing independent clauses, but the forced pauses stilt it. (I'll honestly look it up. I enjoy the chance to fine-tune my comma usage. It is, and this is the damn truth, my biggest problem.)

THANK YOU. I totally dig your review!

I totally killed the that in like 9, which changed the structure and killed the comma. I couldn't find definitive support. (STRUNK AND WHITE'S FAILED ME!) But, since it worked without it, why not.

Thanks again,
Betty

I know how people get about format and all that but for me it's always about the wording and it totally kicked me in the nads.nice one

Thanks Viwe. Speaking of nuts...

You ever smell mothballs?

Hard getting the lil' legs apart, isn't it?

(I've been waiting, WAITING to use that. MUWHAHAHAAA... I win!)

I mean, uh, dude, really, that's such a nice thing to say. I appreciate it.
Betty

Proof, if proof were needed, that a poem doesn't need to be an epic to be a BIG poem. This  juxtaposition of raunchy sex and heroic love seems to be a theme with you and you handle it with a unique style that some would call a poetic 'voice'. It works on many levels.

I mean, isn't it strange that raunchy sex and heroic love should be such natural candidates for juxtaposition? Shouldn't these things be strings to the same bow? Shouldn't you compare him to summer's day? Hell no - fuck that! This is ... Betty... more Amy Winehouse than Tony Bennett. But then - didn't those two do a duet just before she died? Great poem.  Red

Raunchy sex and heroic love... I'm totally chuckling up my sleeve over that. Very astute, Red.

Is that a genre? Can I claim it? I totally want to be the Grand Poo-Bah of Raunchysexheroiclove. With a hat. I want a damn hat.

Your enthusiasm is contagious. I love getting up a good head of steam and just ranting about stuff, in a positive way. That, good sir, was a badass rant.

Thank you for it.

Betty

Gotta love the non-chalant approach in those first lines, filling the reader's mind with images that leaves us smiling.
Well penned Betty.

Thanks Wally.