"Put Wood Int' Hole!"

Ive just realised
That i need
A much bigger cock
Because the one i'm using
Isn't quite fit for purpose
Although
Many friends
Have told me  
How attractive my cock is
But it's a bit on the light side
And to small
To keep the hole open
Ive considered borrowing
Someone elses cock
But that feels
Somewhat innappropiate
So ive got a large horse instead
A much better door stop
 
by Jemia
("put wood int' hole!", is an  north of england expression, meaning to shut the door...)