silent weapons

Beauty is character, not physical looks. Beauty is the heart, compassion, empathy, understanding. Some of the most "beautiful" people physically can transform into something "ugly" the moment they demean another person.

For what it's worth, I think you are beautiful, Willow.

I do understand & believe all that. But if the special someone never says it, it does begin to take on ballast of sadness & pain. I've been "validated" as physically beautiful by others, just never the someone's in my life. Why do people not just say it? That's what gets to me.

You are beautiful.

Men suck. They think with their dick. And we live in a fake ass world where we make beautiful in jars and Botox and makeup and filters.

Humanity is beautiful. I know any man who sees that in your eyes should fall to his knees and tremble because… you have that in droves

This was aching and vulnerable my friend

You ARE beautiful. I pinky-swear

I had an ex who wouldn't let me out of those or be seen without me unless I was wearing makeup. And yet when I did modeling it was with little or no makeup. Left me with a lot of questions that in the end rounded out to he was an asshat with buttons.  People just need to tell their someone what's so damn attractive about them...not assume they know. I have gorgeous eyes & a rocking bouncy ass...it would have been nice to even hear that from one of them. Sigh...People just need to speak what they feel

I have to agree with what was said above me. However, you must recognize that there are 2 types of beauty. There is surface level beauty and there is internal beauty. They are not one and the same. A person can be physically attractive but still unattractive because of who they are internally. A person can be physically beautiful, yet be very ugly when taken as a whole.    
   
I think internal beauty is something easier to quantify and set a standard to. Its the character of a person the sets the standard. Physical beauty, on the other hand is not as easy to set a standard on. Physical beauty is a matter of opinion. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.    
   
So,  if the color red was a person, should they base their opinion of self on the people that love the color red and feel it is a very attractive color or should they base that opinion on those that don't like the color red, that find it gaudy or too loud?  
   
That's not to say, that I don't understand the desire to feel attractive physically in a world that puts so much emphasis on it, as you have said. However, I think physical beauty pales in comparison to internal beauty. Physical beauty will fade. It only lasts for so long. Internal beauty can last a life time. Furthermore, I'd question the character of a person whose biggest determining factor for choosing a partner is physical beauty. It shows an emphasis on the value of something temporary and surface level. I wonder if that is the person that would make an ideal long term or life long partner.

Okay, this is a stellar perspective. I can fully understand that beauty is subjective. That makes so much sense. What I don't get is why people who are clearly attracted to someone don't simply say "Your eyes blow my mind" or whatever. I don't honestly care that multiple people...strangers among them have said I was beautiful...but the one who cares about me...that one I care about the opinion of. To this day I won't wear makeup because I want people to see me as I am...stripped down & as is. And you are 100% on point with your question about the true value of being with someone who puts all the emphasis on appearance.

I think my idea of conventional beauty has been challenged a lot since getting ill. Disability is probably bottom of the attractiveness scrap heap. Thankfully I’ve met people who continue to remind me of my worth as a human being every day. I’ve also never tried to be something I’m not… this twitching wheelchair bogwitch cat woman special edition demi-lesbian Barbie is pretty much what you get.  
 
I find that the more confident I am about it, the more people reciprocate.  
 
But I won’t lie, I’ve felt pretty damn ugly the last 18 months. And that’s mainly societies fault. Because I’ve felt like less of a human being because I suddenly can’t wear high heels… fkn hell… I have enough problems looking like a Glasgow drunk as it is the amount of wobbling I do.  
 
Because I literally don’t have the strength, mental or physical to wear make up, or do my hair, or slap a mask on my face. And apparently, the world recoils in horror at that. Because it’s not a societal standard of attractiveness. Because it’s not a measure of palatable worth.  
 
Rob up there is right - beauty is a matter of opinion. There is somebody out there who is all about what you are. The rest can go toss off a skunk, like.  
 
People (regardless of gender) just need to be kinder to each other. That’s the bottom line.  
 
Thanks for sharing. And fuck those small minded cunts into the nearest trash can.  
 
-M

Exactly...society sets us up to feel less than or too much at every turn. To me that makes it all the more frustrating that the one who loves us doesn't speak up. I struggle with self-love as it is & that lack of not hearing anything from them made that all the more difficult. At this point I feel I had my "days of beauty" & I'm in my "you're okay" stage of life. I'm rather a quirky little squirrel so anyone interested in me is clearly not here for my looks! I'll take inner beauty over physical. Sure would have felt good for a minute though...

I admire you for writing about a topic that most likely comes with different opinions and can evoke strong emotions for many. It's a difficult topic for me (as you know) so I just say: bravo, sis 💖

I'm never afraid to touch the topics others are uneasy about bringing up. If we don't then...they never come to light. How do we grow or learn if it's always hidden or ignored? People need to take a moment to tell each other why they're attracted to them. Silence cuts deep. Thanks, sis 💖

For whatever reason we all tend to wear blinders and muzzles sometimes when it's most important not to. We agree that this can and does lead to settling for whatever, toys that should had been left alone ages ago. Tight

I know I stayed with a couple complete douche nozzles because I thought they were the best I could get. That silence just erodes our self-esteem & judgment so badly. Speak up...that's all they gotta do