a small indiscretion

He tells me
this small indiscretion
is years in the making
because he's not fucking blind
but we're cool
cause he'd fuck you too
even though we never
got that far

He doesn't pretend
like it doesn't hurt him
or that our conversation
about you wasn't confusing as fuck
cause I've never done this before
never had to have that conversation
that says I crossed an invisible line
and fucking liked it
despite what my guilt
has me believing

For all my pretty words
I can't define this
I can't define you
I can't define what I feel
because I've never had to
not since we decided
we'd never be a thing
and friends is the most
perfectly imperfect label
we could find
to say what we are

Cause you know I love you
too much for us to ever
really just be friends
but you're not the one
I'll ever settle down
and play house with either

Instead we play
in another life...
like it doesn't turn you on
like it doesn't turn me on
like it doesn't break our hearts
just a little

How long have I spent
pretending I haven't been
falling in and out of love with you
for more than a decade
 
We never did have good timing

And as fun as we are
I know you don't want me
like that anyway

Not anymore

-Eve-