Depleted

There is no life without love.
There is no love without life.
I wish there was someone that could love me.
At 50 there's no one to love me.
So empty within.
Just waiting for my happy ending.
That's if there ever is such a thing for me.
FUCK.
I wish i hadn't done this to myself.
I deserve this, what I've done to myself.
This sickness in my mind i created.
Lord, forgive me.
I'm just too fucking nice.
Nice gets you nowhere in this fucking world.
I help buy this i help buy that.
All i get in return is mental fucking stress.
Thank god i have god.
Or i would've ended my fucking life a long long time ago.
A pill bottle full of xanax chased down with
A bottle of MD 20/20.
No pain .
Just eternal sleep.
My lord my god forgive me for this crazy way of thinking.
My lord my God please give me a sign.
I'm not in my right mind.
I'm in a financial bind.
I so wish that on my life i could press rewind.
That ain't gonna happen for this is the really real world and there ain't no going back.
I admit I've tried to buy love.
I know that's an impossible feat.
I did it to get laid.
I did it for the love of sin.
I fucked up.
Regardless i know thy lord has forgiven me.
I just want someone to love me for me, not what i can do for them.
All the hardships and all the deaths I've seen, has broken something within me.
I hope all 24/7 that my lord takes me.
Takes me soon.
I have said it before, I've lost my will.
I wasn't given a raw deal.
I've just made very bad decisions.
I listened to the words of natas and others.
I fucked my life up, threw it all away like skeeted in rubbers.