pouring rain

     
     
     
    yet have I reached the deepest depths of pain; but have felt it deep enough to want to soak in the pouring rain....      
     
     healing can't compare to the levels pain brings; pain can rearrange and change the way that brains think....      
     
     if only soaking in the pouring rain could heal deep wounds- or to get "god's" attention to yank  soul out of this "game"....      
     
   "beam me up"-disintegrate my flesh; I've always felt on borrowed time- life's various threats, and regrets....      
     
 what in your right mind would call this overall experience a gift?      
        
  life offers more pain than pleasure ever could  give....