Nostalgia

I’ve often tried
in many recent days
to change the world
back to

the one that opened up
when you first
Siren songed me
with a small hello
and shortly afterwards
because of  conversation
with me
easy, slow
then reached to stroke my cheek
my brow
and  showed me what
a truly hungry mouth was like.

Back to

the  moment when
because of you
as Autumn stole away
a sense of  life rushed into me
that answered all
the plaguing question that
for so so long
had haunted me
if even only once
I’d ever  find
contentment in a here and now.

And yet I know, I know
that I will not succeed in this.
That change is barred to me.

The world has no regard
for what a person wants
and wishes for.
It is not pliable.
It won’t  be shaped
as I would have it be.