Beyond Walls

Today I peered inside my thoughts,
I questioned the rage,
I held compassion for what I sought.
Pulling back the curtain,
My emotions stood center-stage.
 
I found I had been angry,
I had to be honest with myself,
The power seemed savory,
Only it damaged my health.
 
I didn’t run from anger,
Nor what was underneath,
I heard the thunder,
And held only relief.
 
I heard the words of pain and distrust,
I heard distortion and disgust.
With that I had empathy.
I held each of them tenderly.
 
The former me was still holding on,
Begging to be seen,
Waiting for the dawn.
Holding fast to the serene.
 
With the new day and sunlight piercing through,
I remind myself of living,
How we all misconstrue,
It is in understanding,
The grief and heartache,
That we awake and change the view.
 
I no longer run from my inner self,
Nor the flaws I’ve tried to hide,
Even that which I despised,
I stack it all on a shelf,
The thoughts, feelings and things I’ve shoved behind,
Walls of misery and doubt.
I then discovered a common plight.
 
Learning to trust must begin inside.
Who am I?
When did I decide,
That it was weak to cry?
 
Once I began to search for truth amidst the lies,
Was when I discovered I could accept reality.
I can endure atrocities,
They can make or break me,
I knew what to decide.
 
Living to the fullest,
Being attuned to my needs,
Discovering memories I’ve repressed,
Allowing that frightened little child to feel seen.
 
I never imagined such a power I could possess.
Living to the fullest.
Trying my best.
I kept going.
I keep passing each test.