Don't think there's a cure for this.

Sometimes, I'm tired of writing. I'm tired of playing my keyboard. I'm tired of trying to get this out of my mind when it never goes away.

I'm going to be a great pop star, I know it. I'm going to be a great influence to those around me.

But on a lonely night, I'm reminded of how you're not by my side and how it all of this feels meaningless. Pride tells me to stop writing about you. Pride tells me that you were never in love with me and that I just made it all up in my head. Pride tells me to never spill the full truth.

I know I'm a great friend, I know I'm a great artist, I know I'm responsible, I know I deeply love myself now. I know all of this and yet I still feel empty. I still feel like I've been sucked dry.

I guess it's like I'm looking forward to everything in life yet the romantic aspect of my existence. I genuinely would have to lie to myself and everything I am right now to not believe that you are the cutest guy both inside and out. And I can't. I really can't lie.

I can live on. Truly, I can. I have that strength at least to not opt out.

But it will forever be in memory in you.