neurodivergent

If you met me  
would you know me?  
Would you see through  
the carefully constructed facade?  
Would you be able to tell  
a fake smile from a real one?  
 
Would my fixations repel you?  
Would you ask me  
to dumb myself down  
to be more easily understood?  
Or would you find a dictionary  
to try and keep up  
with the words that spill out  
of my head when I get excited?  
Would you let me bore you  
with every single bit of random  
information my brain hoards  
for special occasions?  
 
Would you call me a space cadet  
or a total fucking pixie?  
Would you casually drop to someone  
that I'm off with the faeries again, today  
like I can't hear you  
when my mind is half in this world  
and half in another?  
 
Would you get angry    
when my fixations take over  
and I can't multitask  
between them and you?  
Would you try and understand  
that when my mind  
dedicates itself to one thing  
that's all that will exist  
until I run myself dry of it?  
 
Would you make jokes  
about how I lose fucking everything?  
My sunglasses, my keys, my wallet  
the mug of coffee I had in my hands  
just 5 minutes ago  
cause it might be anywhere  
the bathroom sink  
the fridge  
a random window sill  
in the pantry with the door closed  
hidden between the wall and the couch  
or somewhere even more improbable  
and ludicrous  
like my underwear draw  
nestled between bras and panties  
 
Would you make me feel bad  
because my autopilot is broken?  
Because I literally can't do  
the same thing every day  
routine being good in theory  
but impossible in practice  
 
Would you make me feel like  
the failure I believe I am  
because there are days  
weeks  
months  
I can't function like a normal person  
because I'm not a normal person  
 
If you met me  
could you love me  
just the way I am?