deepundergroundpoetry.com
Haunted
The tears,
They burn.
They weigh heavy,
Streaming down my face
With the ghosts of all the tears
That came before.
It is a familiar pain.
The players have never changed,
The answers have never come.
The shadows laugh and laugh
From the corners of my mind,
Knowing I will never find
The dark places in which they hide
To turn them out.
I wear this pain,
Etched in my very name.
Breathe.
Just breathe.
Let the shadows laugh.
Let the heavy fall away
Like leaves in a dying fall.
Leaves that scrape and echo
As the wind
Dances them before my eyes.
I should know better
Than to think I can out run it.
Sluff it off like dirty clothes.
It wears me
Like a skin,
And I begin to believe,
It will roam these halls,
Wearing me,
Laughing at me,
Hurting me,
Even after I am gone.
They burn.
They weigh heavy,
Streaming down my face
With the ghosts of all the tears
That came before.
It is a familiar pain.
The players have never changed,
The answers have never come.
The shadows laugh and laugh
From the corners of my mind,
Knowing I will never find
The dark places in which they hide
To turn them out.
I wear this pain,
Etched in my very name.
Breathe.
Just breathe.
Let the shadows laugh.
Let the heavy fall away
Like leaves in a dying fall.
Leaves that scrape and echo
As the wind
Dances them before my eyes.
I should know better
Than to think I can out run it.
Sluff it off like dirty clothes.
It wears me
Like a skin,
And I begin to believe,
It will roam these halls,
Wearing me,
Laughing at me,
Hurting me,
Even after I am gone.
Published 9th May 2012
| Edited 10th May 2012
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 5
reading list entries 0
comments 10
reads 884
Commenting Preference:
The author is looking for friendly feedback.
9th May 2012 7:44am
Welcome back ! It's about time Pierre let you out of the bed for a quick breather.
This is rather beautiful and sad at the same time.
The honesty and pain are unrelenting. I did so hope for a happy ending but your ending fits great.
in terms of structure I might break it up a little bit. like this ;
The tears,
They burn.
They weigh heavy,
Streaming down my face
With the ghosts of all the tears
That came before.
It is a familiar pain.
The players have never changed,
The answers have never come.
The shadows laugh and laugh
From the corners of my mind,
Knowing I will never find
The dark places in which they hide
To turn them out.
I wear this pain,
Etched in my very name.
Breathe.
Just breathe.
Let the shadows laugh.
Let the heavy fall away
Like leaves in a dying fall.
Leaves that scrape* and echo
As the wind
Dances them before my eyes.
I should know better
Than to think I can out run it.
Sluff it off like dirty clothes.
It wears me
Like a skin,
And I begin to believe,
It will roam these halls,
Wearing me,
Laughing at me,
Hurting me.
Even after I am gone.
I changed scrap to scrape, that's it.
what do you reckon on the line breaks.
regardless, i really liked this piece of poetry.
glad you're back.
shine on!
This is rather beautiful and sad at the same time.
The honesty and pain are unrelenting. I did so hope for a happy ending but your ending fits great.
in terms of structure I might break it up a little bit. like this ;
The tears,
They burn.
They weigh heavy,
Streaming down my face
With the ghosts of all the tears
That came before.
It is a familiar pain.
The players have never changed,
The answers have never come.
The shadows laugh and laugh
From the corners of my mind,
Knowing I will never find
The dark places in which they hide
To turn them out.
I wear this pain,
Etched in my very name.
Breathe.
Just breathe.
Let the shadows laugh.
Let the heavy fall away
Like leaves in a dying fall.
Leaves that scrape* and echo
As the wind
Dances them before my eyes.
I should know better
Than to think I can out run it.
Sluff it off like dirty clothes.
It wears me
Like a skin,
And I begin to believe,
It will roam these halls,
Wearing me,
Laughing at me,
Hurting me.
Even after I am gone.
I changed scrap to scrape, that's it.
what do you reckon on the line breaks.
regardless, i really liked this piece of poetry.
glad you're back.
shine on!
9th May 2012 8:13am
Oops, scrap should have been scrape anyway.
I like the breaks actually. Something was still bothering me about the piece and I think that was it. I will likely change it. Thank you.
The story itself did not have a happy ending, so the poem can't. Outside of this story, I still have my happy ending though. :) Some stories aren't supposed to end in bliss, I suppose, or we'd all be polygamists.
I like the breaks actually. Something was still bothering me about the piece and I think that was it. I will likely change it. Thank you.
The story itself did not have a happy ending, so the poem can't. Outside of this story, I still have my happy ending though. :) Some stories aren't supposed to end in bliss, I suppose, or we'd all be polygamists.
9th May 2012 2:32pm
15th May 2012 5:24am
9th May 2012 10:01pm
The concept of a wound that we can't get away from brings to mind Sting's "Lazarus Heart":
"Though the sword was his protection
The wound itself would give him power
The power to remake himself at the time of his darkest hour
She said the wound would give him courage and pain
The kind of pain that you can't hide
From the wound a lovely flower grew
From somewhere deep inside"
Nice write!
"Though the sword was his protection
The wound itself would give him power
The power to remake himself at the time of his darkest hour
She said the wound would give him courage and pain
The kind of pain that you can't hide
From the wound a lovely flower grew
From somewhere deep inside"
Nice write!
15th May 2012 5:25am
9th May 2012 10:12pm
15th May 2012 5:26am
12th May 2012 2:56am
strange how another's pain can become your own through words even if you don't know its causes.
15th May 2012 5:28am
We are too connected not to, methinks. Glad to know I have succeeded in being able to touch someone with my emotion and my words.
