All is Vanity

10 I denied myself nothing my eyes desired;
    I refused my heart no pleasure.
My heart took delight in all my labor,
    and this was the reward for all my toil.
11 Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done
    and what I had toiled to achieve,
everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind;
    nothing was gained under the sun.
 Ecclesiastes 2
 
As I look over the remains of battle the words of Ecclesiastes ring in my head. The enemies I’ve killed lay scattered, and their lifeless eyes tell stories of dreams unfulfilled. The spoils of war, once gleaming with promise, now lie as stones unable to fill my void.  
 
The joy I felt in victory has soured into sadness. I see the faces of the families I have destroyed and futures reduced to ashes. Their cries haunt my dreams, an unending reminder of my deeds.  
 
I preferred the rooms of houses left standing. There, surrounded by sacred objects that reflect the love of parents now dead, their daughters became the objects of my desire.  
 
Their breasts were beautiful and their bodies a reflection of their divine creator. They succumbed to my demands with the promise of life. I was always a gentle lover but at my coming, their eyes were filled with fear and sorrow. After I had my way with their most treasured parts, I mercifully ended their lives and left them as a silent witness to my deeds.  
 
My heart, once proud and unyielding, is now weary and contrite. All my conquests, all my pleasures, are as fleeting as the wind, leaving nothing but a gaping chasm.
 
Nothing was gained under the sun, and I am but a shadow of the man I once aspired to be.