A Small Piece of Good

Crazy how quickly the darkness can come flooding back in
No matter how close in reach, I can never get a win
Its been days of highs and then the voices begin
Popping this thin bubble of serenity like a pin  
 
Its like I need to believe all the negative and the hate
So words of condemnation take on extra weight
They say Im a piece of shit and I offer no debate
It causes me to withdraw into a hell that I create  
 
I want to do good but somehow it always turns out bad
I want to make people happy yet they always end up sad
I want to take away misery but I always seem to add
I want to make people smile, instead they always end up mad  
 
Should I be the horrible person that Im made out to be?
Stop caring so much and hand out this misery?
Beat people down because that's what happened to me?
Instead of holding back this monster should I let this bitch free?  
 
Is all that I've lived through worth nothing at all?  
I dont want all the suffering to be my downfall
I so desperately need a reason to get up and stand tall
If I can help just one person I want to answer that call  
 
This fucker torments me every second non stop
Anticipating the day when I finally drop
He'll be the one left standing on top
Severing my grip on this world with one mighty chop  
 
Theres a part of me that welcomes the thought of release
That sees leaving this world as my only hope of peace
As thoughts of ending my life gradually increase
I want to leave a mark of good, if only a small piece