these songs in my chest are like birds that can't fly away

I chase down the memory of songs  
like music can save me  
through these lonely hours  
when there's no one to talk to  
and my thoughts make me crazy  
 
I ache for touch  
and bullshit words  
that mean nothing and everything  
in this purgatory of existence  
because the idea of anything  
is like a the spark of a lighter  
before the inhale of whatever
is between my fingers  
though today there's nothing  
in my hands to set ablaze  
 
And I miss the way  
you make everything feel alright  
like an ocean breeze  
slipping through my soul  
and carrying away the parts of me  
that are best left behind  
 
And I'm sorry I tried
to find salvation in our darkness  
I'm sorry the stars  
you fall asleep under  
won't shine through  
the storm clouds in my sky
because I would love to name  
the constellations with you  
write songs in the dark  
with the scars we hide  
 
But you're not here  
to calm the restless rage  
so I'm chasing the memory
of songs you left in my ribcage  
like a tattoo time can't erase