As To Swallow Or Choke Upon My Pride?

Confrontations of allegations and I silently take the heat
Tension to regurgitation on the pages of this self defeat
Redirecting the rage in a therapy of laying it all to rest
I write to ease the suffering I endure in this life comprised of stress

Disarm the mind of my emotions when logic dictates silence
As I conduct warfare in my prayers to relinquish the will for violence
Choosing joy irrespective of the circumstance
Arsenals unseen, another attack, another battle, learning how to dance

Satisfy my want to be understood by starving the need
When everyone exploits your wounds the scars within still bleed
I find defense in surrender when I choose to be the bigger man
For the sake of arguments unspoken to withstand

Nothing to prove when ranks can get away with murder of the soul
I just stay in my lane for all the things I can’t control
Finding solace in knowing everyone gets what’s coming to their door
I find confidence and yet I fear when I think of my own failures all the more

Humility to reshape perspective with hands clasped to the means
I bide my time till the reckoning and choose to make no scenes
In this world that wills for drama when I’m just trying to get along
Self control is not for the faint of heart but for the strong…