Love and Hate Chapter 5

 
He usually doesn't have breakfast with me. When he did I knew something was up.

“We will be leaving to Lowther castle in a few days," he said, "Lady Carolina is organizing a ball and she invited us to spend a few days with her.”

I KNEW IT !!!!!! He has not taken me to see Lancaster. He has taken me so that Lancaster can see me and Lady Carolina was Lancaster. Lady Carolina was married to Sir James Lowther, the Earl of Lonsdale, an important politician and a major share holder in the East India Company, an organization more powerful than King George himself. The East India Company had business interests in a dozen or so countries and controlled most of the trade coming from India and the Far East, and lady Carolina controlled her husband.

Lady Carolina was one of the most powerful ladies on the British Isles and I was to be paraded in front of her like one of his ships, a slut he bed, a prize he bought with his money, but most importantly a name, my family's name, to use among Lancaster’s society. I had known this to be the case, but at least I get to mingle with my own and lady Carolina was a prize even I could not ignore. I had never met the Lady but I was looking forward to it. Besides, I was starting to get bored sitting and doing nothing in the gloom of the city, so a change of scenery was welcoming.

The half day ride up north to Lowther castle was pleasant again. My husband sat on the opposite seat yet again, showering me with his glances again and again, most probably thinking I was going to repeat what I stupidly did on our last carriage trip once again. NOT IN HIS LIFE TIME!!!
I degraded myself once. I wasn't going to let it ever happen again.

We arrived to Lowther estate late at night and were ushered to the guest quarters to rest. That was when things got awkward. Being married for almost six months, everyone expected we would be sleeping in the same bed. He didn't say anything and neither did I. So we just walked into our assigned room and closed the door behind us. He strolled inside and sat on a plum chair looking at me and waited. I was really tired and I wanted to sleep, but more than that I wanted to slap that smirk off his face.

“Are you going to look at me like that all night?’’ I sarcastically asked, wondering what was he going to do now that we were alone, in the same room, for the first time, since we were married.

“I sleep on the right side of the bed. You can take the other side,” he so generously offered. If stares can slay, mine would have definitely marred him.

I quickly stormed to the changing room to step into my night attire. When I was ready to join him in bed I had more than three layers of clothes on me; my undergarments, my night dress and a thick night gown which I buttoned all the way up. Let him get through those if he can !!! Unfortunately he was snoring by the time I got to bed. Typical !!!

What was not typical was that he was naked! HOLLY FUCK … He was completely naked, and I was about to sleep next to him. It was a hot night and I was draped in god knows how many layer of clothes. I was dripping wet from the heat, looking at a completely naked man in front of me. As I said, “AWKWARD” was an understatement. I was trembling.

I laid on the far edge of the bed, on my back, fists clenched, waiting for something to happen, or a heart attach to finish me off. Unfortunately nothing did. I must have stayed frozen on the bed for more than an hour until I found the courage to turn around and look at him. HOLLY FUCK… he was naked. I just couldn't believe it. My estranged husband was lying next to me with his broad shoulders, glistering body, flexed muscles, strong legs, but most amazing of all, his deflated cock dangling to one side and pointing straight towards me. Even in this state it looked beautiful. I poked it and it grew a little. I didn't realize a man's cock could grow even in his sleep. I wanted to hold it, stroke it, suck it… and feel it grow in my mouth like it did that time in the carriage but I was afraid he would wake up and go away. So I just sat there admiring it and flickering it each time it wanted to go to sleep. I wanted to keep it hard the way I liked it. Suddenly a drop of ooze emerged from the tip. I swiped it with my finger trying to collect as much of the liquid on the tip of my finger then I quickly put my finger in my mouth. The taste wasn't like the full thing but it wasn't bad. Another hour must have passed as I continued to admire that god-like body and perfect cock laying there. All kinds of strange thoughts went through my mind, thoughts not befitting a lady but I could not help myself. It was beautiful, he was beautiful, until he turned to the other side and I fell back to the ground from shock.

My husband’s back was crisscrossed with whip lashes; more than ten of them. I traced and counted each one while my tears were rolling down my cheeks. They were faint red scars that covered his entire back. From the looks of them, they must have been old wounds. I just couldn't believe who would do something like that. I couldn't sleep that night. I just sat on the chair looking at my husband as he slept peacefully and I kept wondering; Was that why he didn't want to sleep with me? Was that why he didn't want to show me his body? Was that something he didn't want to show me? Was that something he didn't want to talk about? Was that…. Was that….Was that…

“Elinor. Elinor…” I woke up to his voice calling me. I must have dosed off while sitting on the chair all night.

“Wake up,” nudging me to open my eyes. “You must go and introduce yourself to lady Carolina. She is expecting you for breakfast,” he said. He was already dressed and I jumped the instance I saw him.

“I just need a few minutes to get ready,” and try to clear my head.

An hour later my husband and I walked into the reception area where Lady Carolina was waiting for us. The room was empty. I didn't expect that we would be the only guests who were staying the night at Lowther castle.

“Sebastian!” Lady Carolina squealed, “I waited for you all day yesterday. You were late.” I have heard many describe Lady Caroline as the epitome of elegance in our day but I was wrong. She was even more beautiful than I expected. Although she was in her late forties, she had a small well rounded body and a good handful size breasts, not like my own skinny frail frame and small breasts. Her black hair, dark eyes and round wrinkle free face captured men’s hearts when she smiled. I was also a little surprised she had tanned skin, probably because she spent most of her time with her husband traveling to all those exotic places. It was rumored he never went anywhere without her.

Sebastian took the Lady’s hand and kissed it then said, “we are very sorry my dear, but Lady Elinor had to make sure her dress was spot on before we left Lancaster.” Of course, always blame the wife for being late.

“Oh! Sebastian,” Lady Carolina Chuckled, “you always make me laugh.”

What the hell is this?! SLUTSVILLE ?!?!?!? He couldn't be banging Lady Carolina, could he?!?! ?!?!?!? I don't believe this. Oh god!!! He was. I knew it. They were on first name bases and her eyes twinkled when he kissed her hand. Why is it each time I start to change my mind he goes and does something to make me go back to hating him again?!

“Carolina,” he said, “I would like you to meet the wife; Lady Elinor Nitingle.”

I stepped a little closer and extended my hand to Lady Carolina who jumped up and hugged me like we had known each other for a long time.

“ELINOR,” She squealed again. “I am very glad to meet you. I have heard so much about you. I have been telling Sebastian to bring you here for months,” she added, “I'm dying to get to know the lady who captured this sailor's heart. I can see he chose wisely. You are a very beautiful woman my dear.”

“Thank you my Lady,” I didn't want to but I was blushing.

“Oh. Just call me Carolina,” she replied, “all my friends do”

“Thank you my lady. You are very kind,” thanking her once again. “My husband and I are very honored to be staying at Lowther castle. It is a grand estate,” I added.

“Oh..bullocks…,” she replied, “this is practically Sebastian’s second home and I'm sure it will be yours as well.” I really wanted to hate this woman but she was kind, welcoming and honest. So I decided to hate my husband even more.

This is when he decided to intervene, “I’m going to leave you ladies and go look for James. We have much business to discuss.”

“You’ll find him in the study,” Lady Carolina said before she put her arm into mine and walked with me to the dining table. As I said I really wanted to hate this woman but I couldn't. I also haven't had that much fun since the day I came to Lancaster. We talked about everything, the gossip, the places we've been, the people we've met… well mainly gossip but I loved it and I grew to like Carolina. She was an easy woman to get to know and very quickly I became comfortable in her presence and we became friends.

By mid day we almost exhausted the gossip, almost, however the only thing we still had not discussed was my husband. “Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?” I finally got the courage to say it.

“Of course my dear. You can ask me anything.”

“From the looks of things I see you and Sebastian know each other fairly well,” I was trembling as I said it, "how close are you really?" I was trying to be as diplomatic as possible under the circumstances.

Lady Carolina looked at me and wondered, “hasn't Sebastian mentioned me to you?” Oh god! I feared the worse.

“SEBASTIAN DOESN'T EVEN TALK TO ME” and I burst out crying. I don't know what came over me. I just sobbed my heart out as I told Lady Carolina everything that happened since the day I was wed. I told her how my husband and I met, what he did, and how he was treating me. “It's as if I don't exist and I practically don't know anything about him, only that he is a wealthy man,” imploring her to tell me what she knows, “so I'm hoping you would tell me more about Sebastian.”

Carolina hugged me again and tried to calm me down after my outburst of emotions. “You poor poor girl,” she said, “but that's not like Sebastian. I'm going to have a good talk with him. He can't go about treating you like that. That's unacceptable…”

“Nooo… please,” I begged her, “please don't. Please don't tell him I told you so.” I could see she was as much distraught about this as I was. Then she looked at me and started telling me the story I've always wanted to hear. The story of how my husband came to be the man he is today.

“The first time I saw Sebastian was when my elder brother brought him to my father’s house. He was almost fifteen years old and working as my brother’s servant aboard his ship. My family has always been in the shipping business and my elder brother was the captain and owner of a galley doing trade in the Mediterranean. I recall him telling us how one day he caught a young stowaway aboard his ship and how that scrawny, bloodily beaten, little twelve year old boy begged him to work for free if he would take him aboard his ship. My brother said that he had never seen a much harder worker so he decided to make him his personal servant. The relationship between the two men grew and my brother came to consider that boy like the son he never had. Under the tutorship of my own brother, Sebastian grew to be an able seaman and eventually became his second in command. Many years later my brother passed away leaving all his possessions to Sebastian. So you see my dear, Sebastian is practically like family to me and I've never known him to treat a woman like that. He has always been a kind and gentle man. I'm really surprised as to why he is doing that to you, very surprised.”

We talked for a little while about my husband and how he partnered with lord Lonsdale, Carolina's husband, to become one of the richest men in Lancaster. Then we both adjourned to prepare for the ball hoping to continue our conversation later on.  As I said. I liked lady Carolina and we got to know one another quite intimately, very intimately actually, and in more ways than I would ever imagine …