17 Ways To Die

Jumping from a ridge
Hanging from a rope on a bridge  
Bullets from a gun  
Racing a train I can't outrun  
Dousing myself on fire  
Holding my breath until I retire  
Lethal poisoning diagnose  
Or a street drug overdose  
Food and water I can go without  
Maybe a woodchipper creates no doubt  
Intentional car accident with decapitation  
A fast moving truck struck me without hesitation  
Jumping out a plane with no parachute  
Or wire me up to electrocute  
Buried alive underground  
Or under water where I drowned  
So many fascinating ways to die  
I'll pick one to give a try  
And in case I don't succeed  
I have other ways to proceed  
Success at my fingertips  
Razor blades across my throat blood drips