Architecture of suffering

First of all, the design of it is beautiful. You are delving into deeper emotions. Very nice. Fia xoxo

Hey Fia! I hoped that the design would add something to it, so I am very happy you think it is beautiful. My emotions do run deep and can be very intense. As is often the case with my writing there are multiple meanings in this one, some of them conflicting with each other. Things that happen to us in our lives definitely shape us and even our proclivities. xoxo

Rough sex is hot.  Enjoy the wild ride of Love.  Keep on writing my beautiful strong smart sexy woman.

Well I certainly will not argue with you there Francisco. I do tend to bite and claw when I get very excited in the intensity of the moment. And definitely offer the thrill of a very wild ride. :p How could I not keep on writing with such lovely encouragement, thank you so much for the wonderful compliment.

You are truly welcome you can be my wild ride of Love any day.

your poem is a haunting and visceral exploration of the "architecture of suffering" - the dark, complex structures that underpin the human experience of pain, longing, and the loss of innocence.

Very well said MP. I love the description of "a haunting and visceral exploration". I think that's a perfect representation. The human experience is definitely composed of dark and complex structures, at least mine. Pain and lust go hand in hand, and the loss of innocence changes everything.

One has to wonder what the grand design of your architecture will look like.
Well written.

.hugs,
buddhakitty .

Hey BK, I often contemplate that myself, what is the grand design of my architecture. Perhaps it was all just meant to be chaos. But the architect that tore down my walls while building up others around me so that no one could see did seem to have a design for me. And that would certainly impact my life in profound ways. Thanks so much for the hugs...

Hi beautiful can't stop need a cold shower lol
Hot read again
Love and light
Ron xx

Cold showers are very good for you. :p I always loved going somewhere that had a cold plunge and a sauna. You get very HOT in the sauna and then take a dip in the absolutely freezing water up to your neck and just stay in there for a while. It's so exhilarating. Then you go in the hot thermal waters to loosen everything up again and just keep rotating. Damn I want that right now. :) Love and light back at ya Ron! xx

A perfect masterpiece with all the elements of a touching A+ poem, which is in harmony with your amazing talent.Hugs and love, Oral

That's such a wonderful thing to say Oral. Thank you so much for the incredible compliment, I really love what you said. You have left me without words. :) Hugs and love back at ya.

So glad you are back writing. Looking forward to more masterpieces from your beautiful and creative mind. Hugs and love, Oral

Thanks Oral, it's always great to see you and I really appreciate your encouragement!

I can't help but feel the coldness of a young woman forced into a life of robbed innocence.  Being left to fend for herself in a society of vipers and predators who lack hearts.  Those early formative years should be the happiest but not here. Here, there is darkness of the soul and tears nobody can dry ...

This poem shows your amazing prowess at  writing the sinister side of a life gone astray.  She's on her own in a cold wilderness and fighting desperately to survive.  Somehow she will rise up because there is no choice but to beat back the night.  There's light waiting but she must look inside herself to find the courage to be more than a victim to evil.  
I believe she will ..

P.S.  Poem construction and formatting is phenomenal.  This isn't your usual sex romp.  This is a horror story told by our very own Queen Kx !

BIG AND INCREDIBLE WRITING

RL AWARD

Very intuitive, some things can never be undone... Being robbed of innocence is such a betrayal. It sets the stage for the rest of your life. There are so many vipers and predators ready for the performance, directing. The early formative years definitely establish the building blocks and architecture that will be the foundation for the rest of your life. Sometimes that is mired in darkness and tears.

There is a sinister side and exposing that is so difficult. Feeling alone and isolated inside oneself, having kept things in for so long. But life goes on and you find the light but the darkness will always be inside casting shadows.

I really love that you thought the construction and formatting is phenomenal. I had hoped it would lend to the expression. There is definitely a horror story to be found here but as usual multiple meanings too. Passion and lust are always found there as well.

Thank you so much for the incredible compliment PS.

This write took courage.
I see it as something a lot of people went through at an early age.  From reading you I know you’ve grown and excel now at many things.  Rest assured had I known you then and had my way, this monster would have been canceled.  That said I’m available any time should the demons haunt you.  By writing this passage many reading it will not feel so alone. To that end you’ve taken charge and will continue to live in brighter days …

I definitely hesitate to post certain things... Sadly, I know there are many people who have experienced very difficult things at an early age. I know you have read some of my past writing. I made my way through my own personal hell but I suppose the demons will always haunt me at times. Tormenting but also fueling my desires and needs, it's complicated... But yes, I have moved on but some things persist...

Yes, many things are complicated in your life.  I've seen that in your writing too.  Believe it or not in time some of the pain will vanish, scars always remain but your experience will help others.  With that in mind therapy only forward is just to be ....
Think of me in 20 years and say ... Iconic was right ✅

My life started with complication so I suppose it's no surprise things have remained complicated. I have many scars but they define me for better or worse. I have always wanted to help others so I hope you are right. But anyway, I never give up no matter how hard life has tried to make me at times.

I thought about not commenting because this hit too close to home.

Let me just say this…
You are a force to be reckoned with
And
A  phenomenon human.

I’m grateful to read you.

Hey Mary, I am glad you decided to but I am really sorry to hear it hits close to home. Nevertheless, 'we' are a force to be reckoned with... I must admit I always have a hard time with compliments especially those that mean so much to me. I hope you know how wonderful you are! I know how someone can fill you with insecurities and make you feel like your only worth is the physical. And how the physical can become your only way out of your own personal hell sometimes. xoxo

Xoxo

I really have no words to describe how your writings spark the feelings you emote so well.
I have read many of your replies to those who comment and that you take more time to explain where your poems come from.
You are a very incredible writer at all levels shows an IQ far higher than I can claim for myself.
Please write more for all of us lowly folk to enjoy.
Richard

I am told I project my emotions VERY strongly in person, which can be good and bad. But I am glad that you can feel me through writing as well. Often my poems have many meanings, it gets me in trouble with the ones that have both positive and negative meanings sometimes. I am glad you found value in the comments as well. You have left me at a loss for words with your incredible compliment, it means a lot to me. But I can't let you say I have an IQ far higher than you damnit! Don't make me hurt you... :p (okay, I wouldn't do that but you get the point). There are so many wonderful people and writers (like you) here. I love that you count me among them Richard. <3

Oh Please hurt me if it makes you feel better as I have an inherent bent towards masochism
:(

Don't frown... I suppose I can hurt you if that's what you want. ;)
I know a lot about masochism...

I await your knowledge of masochism .
My knowledge does not allow me to take it further than a certai level.
If you can take me further I willv become  a slave to you forever.
Richard
Please take me to your dungeon and ensure that I am given all that you need to ensure I have your total government and the space to enjoy the life I need to suffer from your life that I deserve.
R

Powerful piece. There's a dark world that takes innocence. I would like to think those dark hearted get theirs at some point.

To move forward taking back each day is also what takes power away from those predators.

Hey DC, there is a definitely a dark world that lies beneath what people see and yet is somehow interwoven into the fabric of existence for some. Often some things stay buried but I do think that dark hearted people ultimately suffer in one way or another.  They try to fill in their own emptiness through hurting someone else in the most destructive ways. But survival can indeed make us stronger despite scars that will never fully heal.

I read this whilst waiting to board a plane . . . It was definitely absorbing, I adore the layout of the poem and the various ways you can interpret it. Wonderfully written  :)

Nice to meet you Inkplay... Where are you headed? :) I am glad you found it absorbing and worthwhile reading on your travels. And I am really happy to know that the layout added something to it, and that you could also see there are various ways to interpret it. Thank you so much for taking a moment to share your thoughts with me. I hope you have very pleasant travels.

Thank you Kristina :) I'm headed back to London now from Chicago, I look forward to reading more from you :)

London is an incredible city. I wish I were on my way there... I spent much of my time growing up in the UK. And despite it being a very turbulent and difficult time it became home.

Well, damn Scooby.
This is not just (obviously) deep, but makes little rips in the psyche as it goes in.
I've read it twice, to get the full effect of it. The header pic is a great lead in, too.
  Well written, which makes me think it actually was rough on you to write. But, letting it out is so helpful to your soul.
Write it out. Bleed it out in ink. No blood clots .

Hey you! I suppose I am always getting blamed for making little rips in the psyche but it's not my fault. Okay, maybe it's my fault sometimes. Anyway, I really appreciate that you took the time to read it twice to get the full effect and understanding. The pic, although not completely representative, I do think imparted the right type of feelings. But anyway, writing it did bring up memories so I know what you mean about being rough. I have gotten much better at keeping it down, but maybe letting it out on occasion is helpful; and I definitely know about bleeding it out. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts with me Styx. It means a lot to me.

Hi, Kris

Your pentaprismic poem (having 5 stanzas), with each stanza being a cinquain (having 5 lines), is an architectural mountain. It meanders with undulating purpose that uncovers the true designer in you.  And yet the shape and general structure is much more than mere eye candy, for between the lines lurks a wealth of intentionality and meaning that offer a deeper feast to the discerning reader.  Placing your rhymes in the closing line of each stanza, as in end line v. 2 with end line v. 3, and then end line v. 4 with end line v. 5 is a clever stunt.  That technique brings cohesiveness, continuity, and harmony to the whole, and although a 5-line-five-verse structure could seem, at first, incongruous, the highlighting of the "oddness" (as in odd number) of your design elements is the very feature that helps to unify the work.

Your use of Italics, bold, and regular fonts adds another dimension to the architectural design, now shifting to weights and shades of meaning, as you highlight and emphasize different thoughts.  I would not be surprised if some readers misread your intentions, because gullibility and naivety can sometimes get in the way of objective appraisement.  That is to say, though, that there may be different layers to the thoughts you have expressed and the images you have painted.

I will conclude that this poem is a reflection of the human condition born of deep introspection.  Choice of vocabulary lends a certain darkness to the mood -- blood, bodies, crucifixion, fragments of desires, and being trapped in a world of suffering.  "Drowning in the pulsation of hidden moments/And the foreignness of a crumpled dream..." suggests unfulfillment at the end of great expectations, as does the feeling of indifference, both from within and above.  The fact that we are all "masters of our own fate" (not a quote from the poem) could imply that, in spite of all our endeavours and crazy strivings, we still find ourselves in that place of falling short of what we seek.  The druggist can never be satisfied, but must crave more drugs and higher highs; the sex maniac finds something missing after exhaustion, and must seek greater sensuality; the rich gropes for more wealth and his greed only expands, for he must have the whole world; and the obese glutton has an insatiable appetite for more junk food.

Finally -- which is probably the truest aspect of your intended message --, the persona seems to be reeling from experiences (sexual or otherwise) that have been thrust upon him/her (more likely her).  A forced sexual experience takes away all the life out of living.  The indifferent master (I would use a lowercase m) is the perpetrator of the evil, who cares naught for the distress he causes.  His indifference comes from the pursuit of his own pleasure, while his victim must cope with "the performance of Life without innocence..."  Performance, indeed, because life has lost its last ounce of spontaneity and one is merely mimicking life as from a stage.

CONGRATULATIONS, Kristina;  you have expressed yourself with compelling force, artistically packaged and presented.

Sincerely
cab

PS  The reason I would not say Master with a big M is that it implies God.  And I know that God is not indifferent, even to fallen humanity.  He could have destroyed the earth when sin entered through Adam's disobedience, but what He did, instead, was provide a redemption path through Jesus' bearing the death that we deserve, so that we may have His righteousness, which we do not deserve.  That's because of how much God loves us (see John 3:16).

It is so difficult to adequately respond to your comment and detailed thoughts cab.
   
You have such an eye for structure. I dare say you give me too much credit as my chaos may result in a unique structure purely by the weirdness of how my mind assembles things and by no actual design. It's really cool to see how your keen eye immediately assembles the chaos into something more and then you can provide that detailed analysis. Oddness is something I know a lot about. ;)

The layers within the bold, italics, fonts, is intentional; albeit done extremely quickly within in a single take of my mind. There are always layers, even in the most basic seeming expressions. So when you see them it adds much more depth to the writing...

Often I do find myself in deep introspection and that often involves dark thoughts. I am always the most critical of myself. I feel like the things outside of my control were still somehow my fault. But still i never give up. I suppose I have been crucified so many times, and I still rose from that darkness. Your observations are all extremely relevant to my thoughts and you have great intuition.

Some people are truly indifferent to the damage they cause or even worse quite pleased with it. When that happens over longer period of time it's far worse. I like that used a lower case m, a reflection that no matter how much damage was done this person will never truly get ownership of the soul.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read and leave me such an incredible comment. I am so sorry it took me so long to respond. I still feel my response is no where near adequate. Your words are always so meaningful and you express yourself in the most amazing ways.

PS And that's another very good point regarding the use of Master too...

" Beyond logic - to suffer even more" I found this very intuitive in the sense of how in human relations we either punish ourselves for certain things or we are just drawn to the pain, as if it heals our souls. Thought provoking write.

We are always so desperate for human relations in whatever form. I am very good at punishing myself but it would seem I am very good at being punished too. But alas, as you say often we are drawn to the pain or perhaps it's just drawn to us. And often it becomes a desire... I guess it's all very confusing.

Another read.
Sometimes I need a refresher course ....

I know what you mean. I get a refresher course all the time in Architecture of suffering it seems. But I still remain steadfast in pursuing my goals...

I like that determination...

This hits home..

Hey numer... I am sorry this one hits home. It's certainly based on some horrific things in my life. Thank you so much for reading and sharing your thoughts! I hope things are much better for you now! Hugs