it's whatever

when the words don't come or change anything and the soul shatters
I'll pick myself up piece by piece
all the beautiful parts of me I discarded to be what you wanted
my ability to find the good in anyone
my easy smile and honest eyes
my need to connect with people on a deeper level
longing to be where I am accepted, regardless what I look like

with your cheating, you heightened my insecurity
you triggered my abandonment condition
PTSD cruelly altars my reality for you
so you can do what you like and excuse your behavior

saying I'm crazy

I am delusional thinking you cared
my mind makes up other possibilities
besides the obvious, you've been cheating on me year in and out
feeding other women my pain to seduce

broken women whose power is in their pants
to turn a man's head breaking a lifelong friendship
and then on to the next heartbreak...yours
feeding off of the hurt of another

when you run out of money failing to be what she needs
and the next carrot or cock is before her
I really hope your heart can take the hit

knowing you come second, third or whatever to her demands