Painful Truth

 
it is quiet here and I can hear my heart weep
it's almost five am I haven't slept much
my eyes cry tears that I won't allow my soul to feel

you can't choose who you love
or the duration you will ache with the feeling
I've never been number one in his heart
a womanizer is always on the prowl
his dick thinks for him
he follows along, any excuse will do

picking fights with me so he can leave guilt-free
pulling the threads of my sanity
knowing I have abandonment issues
knowing I am in a weakened position
and like a predator taking full advantage
with the knowledge if he pushes
on my weak spots long enough I will crack
it's a sport to make me hurt

I have nowhere to turn
he's fooled them all
and I cosigned it

I don't blab year in and out about the real him
I made sure he appeared upright to my family
even though he acts like the devil himself in the shadows
even when he smeared me for doing what he did to me fifty times over