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Your honor may I approach the bench?
I would like to spit some shit, if you pardon my French
And if it pleases the court I would like it say out loud
The defendant is a total dick and he seems to be proud
Now I know I don’t have my JD but I’d like to use my other degree
But as sure as my diction this motherfucker looks dubious ‘cause we all agree
I know we’re supposed to assume innocent until proven guilty by law
But this turkey is one hundred one percent sus with all his blah blah blah
Your honor can I approach the bench I have another interjection
I know this isn’t something jurors usually do during jury selection
But the defendant has been stuntin’ outside the court talkin’ smack
And I feel like I can represent the people by being able to clap back
The defendant is being a little bitch hiding behind his attorney
I mean check out his scowl like a foul fowl on the prowl looking thorny
Come on admit it your honor he looks very creepy and kinda wormy
He’s the kind of guy to leave his wife out in the rain when it gets stormy
I understand we’re not supposed to judge a book by it’s cover
But the pages are filled with so much bullshit it’ll make you boilover
Your honor I’m not trying to be disrespectful or trying to give you sass
I’m no prize fighter but this gas lighter keeps talkin’ out of his ass
Dismissed?
Published 1st Mar 2024
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 2
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comments 4
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The author encourages honest critique.
2nd Mar 2024 2:45pm
7th Mar 2024 8:24pm
Thank you Ahavati.
I think my friend was having a blast writing some of these. I'm having to screen some of the other work that may get us band.
Sorry, banned.
I think my friend was having a blast writing some of these. I'm having to screen some of the other work that may get us band.
Sorry, banned.
6th Mar 2024 1:38am
Love this, as someone who works in the court service I can absolutely tell you this is an everyday occurrence! On point and most definitely humorous to myself atleast 😂
7th Mar 2024 8:27pm
Thank you Kink.
The jury duty selection process here in the states are long drawn out days. I have yet to be selected. The attempt at the humour is a wink at the current state of politics 'round here. Hope it made you laugh.
The jury duty selection process here in the states are long drawn out days. I have yet to be selected. The attempt at the humour is a wink at the current state of politics 'round here. Hope it made you laugh.
