ONCE lovers...

Do you think,
We could have a visit soon?
I hate to even ask,
Or feel like I am begging
It is such a strain.
Once lovers, sadness
Now permeates my being,
From my hair down to my knees
A knife to the heart
Of where we were,
And, where we are now.
How did it happen?
Not even a friend, am I.
 
All the love,
All the spoken and written words
Are now an all-consuming ache
In the middle of my chest.
I thought for sure, this time was it.
 
Our bodies, our minds, and our spirits
Took flight and merged into one.
Passion and the sensuality of love
Guided us as we soared.
I could not tell where I left off
and where you began.
That night, the last night
Will forever be stamped
Into the fibers of my being.
 
How did we become like strangers?
I would like to know.
 
I am an idiot to have believed  
What you were saying was real.
Suspect, yes, but pushed it away.
Not wanting to let you go.  
Now, the contempt for myself
And, the contempt I have for you
And, the userous motives
As you took aim at my  
Over-zealous kindness.
You let me believe it was real.
Damn, the money I spent  
The time and effort,  I gladly
Served you and your plight
Believing you were coming
Home to me and to a place
You could now call home.
 
You broke my heart
You broke my spirit.
Knowing I am not even a friend
Cuts to the core.
Yes, in time, I will learn to live  
With the pain, the stupidity  
Of my own psyche  
And, the deceit I brought  
Onto myself.
The fool that I am,
You would think I would  know.