hyper aware

never was this an epiphany          
the basis never changed            
     
i’ll embrace this dead-end symphony          
of anachronistic rage  
     
dependence to be needed    
and the curse to be without    
     
impedimental sediment,    
my hinderance of doubt    
         
neuroticism so inevitably
the price of eccentricity    
     
the ever-present horror that is    
based upon my history    
     
and time has run it’s course    
but i’ll never feel okay    
     
until someone breaks the chains        
of my anhedonic cage.    
     
- hope