deepundergroundpoetry.com
The Eve Of Giving
There is not a longer sentence than this;
You and I.
During this time, we've unbundled.
Draping our clothes to dry
upon the window ledge.
The double panes block the wind,
yet what can dry in such conditions?
Quietly, to ourselves, we know this.
The sun presses its cheek
against the window pane,
wishing to steal our cottons and wools,
that we seem to have left as sacrifice.
You are brave in this afterglow.
The sun wants to feel
the warmth of your face.
But greedy, you blow a mock kiss
and fog the glass,
locking it out from our embrace.
Outside, the hum of powerlines
as they shiver in the cold.
While inside, in this burning orange room,
I light my cigarette
in the flame of a celebration candle.
Proud and defiant in our nudity,
we are raw, waiting for the feeling
to let go of our skins.
I talk in rambling words of no importance,
while I stroke in downward motions
your softest and shortest hair.
It's been through a mess
of pressings and feltless snags.
That humid meshing with my own.
It's how our bodies do their clinging,
as we tug on and on
through these long moments.
Created for maybe only heat,
beating back the surge of reasons
of why we want to linger in this;
Waiting out the longest of winter days.
It's the eve of giving
and I tell myself another minute,
make it last through this day.
I don't want to wake under an empty tree.
I don't mind being a utensil,
as long as I'm used.
Take my hands, place them
over your heart, show me
how it still beats exactly the same
as it did before me.
Take my kisses, go blow them
into mist against the glass.
Then curse the sun,
for its powerlessness.
Take my mind off of our dire consequence.
Because tomorrow will be a strangers' day.
The intoxications will have changed
and our kisses will be wrapped
when we give them.
On the ledge, our cottons
have began their wrinkle.
-So it's been longer than we planned.
The wools though, still so damp,
and it dawns on me
that you planned your wardrobe
accordingly.
The inevitable outside;
Snow builds a curtain
bottom first, against the panes.
And you race it up, on the inside line
fogging it with breath of defiance.
You draw a T, and look at me.
"This is how we always
end up laying".
How can I tell you,
that I feel for your heart,
to see if you're still with me.
Supposing, the wool you've propped up,
acting as a timepiece,
should be enough to remind me.
Drying, giving our wetness
- call it sweat, a chance.
So close to the ice, we'll somehow freeze it
into a salvageable thing like remembrance.
Like a powder, that we'll shrug off
and call it an inconvenience.
So close, we lay exposed
at the altar of giving.
Our clothes will crinkle as Christmas paper,
when we rewrap these selfishly used presents.
And the wrinkles, when we smile,
laughing at our feigned luxuries.
These, our bodies torn
by the ravages of holidays.
Damn, never enough holidays.
Although I'm happy, because
we burned the long kind of candles.
We spent them up two flames at a time.
It was the only way.
~
I don't need to walk you out,
I'm caught in the wax castles
rising beside the shriveling candles.
I tell myself that we've locked
everything of this evening
into the center-life of the candle's fire.
Come New Years, I will re-light
these stubs that once stood in glory.
I'll think of us, and I'll smile for us.
Those lines at the corner of my eyes, well,
they'll again be traces of your fingertips.
Like when we last kissed.
When we kissed away Christmas.
~~~
Published 23rd Dec 2023
| Edited 28th Dec 2023
Author's Note
Merry Christmas everyone
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 11
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24th Dec 2023 00:30am
I like the redolent bittersweet melancholy of this. Makes me think of “Fairytale of New York”.
24th Dec 2023 1:14am
Well I like your reference. It's lofty for sure but appreciated. This write of mine is definitely full of the bittersweet. The limitations...
Thank you for the nod. Happy holidays over there!
Thank you for the nod. Happy holidays over there!
24th Dec 2023 00:47am
I've read this around three times. I keep going back to different
parts of this piece. They all stand out so achingly and beautifully.
I got swept away with it.
I also enjoyed how you brought the holidays into this. We do miss loved ones
during the holidays. That's why it's always so important to make the best out of the
time we do have. It's depicted in this write perfectly.
This is wonderful just like you:)
parts of this piece. They all stand out so achingly and beautifully.
I got swept away with it.
I also enjoyed how you brought the holidays into this. We do miss loved ones
during the holidays. That's why it's always so important to make the best out of the
time we do have. It's depicted in this write perfectly.
This is wonderful just like you:)
24th Dec 2023 1:22am
Missing someone is one thing. It's the ache that eats away at our attempts to cope during the separation. Yeah?
Yeah.
Just having time together is such a gift. It fills our blanks that rang hollow too long.
The most beautiful thing about you is your natural joy. It's so rare. Untarnished. It's a gift.
Yeah.
Just having time together is such a gift. It fills our blanks that rang hollow too long.
The most beautiful thing about you is your natural joy. It's so rare. Untarnished. It's a gift.
Anonymous
- Edited 3rd Jan 2024 7:45pm
24th Dec 2023 1:02am
<< post removed >>
24th Dec 2023 1:08am
Wishing you and yours all the best. This was powerful, sexy sad, warm, and festive....In my mind anyways. Love ya. <3
24th Dec 2023 1:24am
You summed it up pretty accurate! I was trying to pack in as much as I could, in a single gift box, so to speak.
Thanks you mysterious one!
Thanks you mysterious one!
24th Dec 2023 1:42am
24th Dec 2023 3:32am
Dear S,
Beautiful. Poignant. For me, it touches on all the soft spots of the season in terms of being with loved ones. Missing loved ones, just the specialness of the holiday. And then toss in the depth of the relationship between the two main characters of the write. The closeness without words. Loved every word of this. H🌷
Beautiful. Poignant. For me, it touches on all the soft spots of the season in terms of being with loved ones. Missing loved ones, just the specialness of the holiday. And then toss in the depth of the relationship between the two main characters of the write. The closeness without words. Loved every word of this. H🌷
28th Dec 2023 00:52am
Thank you kindly, H.
Although pre-holidays can be spectacular, frustration and aches can seep in during the actual events when alone. Thoughts and daydreams rule the moments then. This is basically what the write is.
I hope your holiday season is wonderful!
Although pre-holidays can be spectacular, frustration and aches can seep in during the actual events when alone. Thoughts and daydreams rule the moments then. This is basically what the write is.
I hope your holiday season is wonderful!
24th Dec 2023 3:54pm
I love the imagery of the light through the window and the snow accumulating. You have put so much into this. As A mentioned, it will take several reads. For some reason it reminds me of the love song of J Alfred Prufrock but more positive, more gentle and loving
Merry Christmas to you and A. I hope you do get some time together.
Merry Christmas to you and A. I hope you do get some time together.
28th Dec 2023 00:55am
Thanks so much, Trillium.
I was thick headed with thought, when writing this one out. It turned out different but okay, compared to what I was thinking more of. I'm leaving it as is.
I appreciate the comment.
Happy holidays!
I was thick headed with thought, when writing this one out. It turned out different but okay, compared to what I was thinking more of. I'm leaving it as is.
I appreciate the comment.
Happy holidays!
Anonymous
25th Dec 2023 3:18am
Love the way the moment and the person spoken of rival the beauty of the sun and nature. Much emotion flowing through these lines
28th Dec 2023 00:59am
I like how you commented, in that the subject person gets the glory, over sun and weather, etc. We are our own little cosmos, in a way. And we create/control how it goes. Outside sources are just intangibles once it's to the nitty gritty.
Have a wonderful holiday season Confluence! And thank you.
Have a wonderful holiday season Confluence! And thank you.
25th Dec 2023 3:28pm
This is everything & more a person could hope for under their tree. Peace & joy to you & yours!
28th Dec 2023 1:01am
I agree! It's all, and enough, that I'd want.
Thank you much for the comment. And have a great holiday season !
Thank you much for the comment. And have a great holiday season !
26th Dec 2023 6:01pm
Holy fuckity fuck fuck! What IS THIS! God it hurts to read, while it’s gorgeous and impossible to not read.
This?!
“You are brave in this afterglow.
The sun wants to feel
the warmth of your face.
But greedy, you blow a mock kiss
and fog the glass,
locking it out from our embrace.”
WHAT?! That is one of the best stanzas I’ve ever read.
I have never seen kitty-petting phrased so sublimely. This is pristinely erotic:
“I talk in rambling words of no importance,
while I stroke in downward motions
your softest and shortest hair.
It's been through a mess
of pressings and feltless snags.
That humid meshing with my own. “
The aftercare, afterglow, real moments from which the reader can infer the grandly passionate moments preceding this one is exquisite.
The meanings layered here:
‘So close, we lay exposed
at the altar of giving.
Our clothes will crinkle as Christmas paper,
when we rewrap these selfishly used presents.’
Chef’s kiss. Your bodies are the present gifts, and the regifting shows the heartache.
Fuck this was good. I got the meat sweats from it. The cold outside, the warmth inside, the temporary haven you painted for the lovers showed such precision and talent. You are always a king of hearts, friend, and this time you showed that the heart can bleed and thrive at the same time.
This?!
“You are brave in this afterglow.
The sun wants to feel
the warmth of your face.
But greedy, you blow a mock kiss
and fog the glass,
locking it out from our embrace.”
WHAT?! That is one of the best stanzas I’ve ever read.
I have never seen kitty-petting phrased so sublimely. This is pristinely erotic:
“I talk in rambling words of no importance,
while I stroke in downward motions
your softest and shortest hair.
It's been through a mess
of pressings and feltless snags.
That humid meshing with my own. “
The aftercare, afterglow, real moments from which the reader can infer the grandly passionate moments preceding this one is exquisite.
The meanings layered here:
‘So close, we lay exposed
at the altar of giving.
Our clothes will crinkle as Christmas paper,
when we rewrap these selfishly used presents.’
Chef’s kiss. Your bodies are the present gifts, and the regifting shows the heartache.
Fuck this was good. I got the meat sweats from it. The cold outside, the warmth inside, the temporary haven you painted for the lovers showed such precision and talent. You are always a king of hearts, friend, and this time you showed that the heart can bleed and thrive at the same time.
28th Dec 2023 1:32am
Well, shit. How do I thank thee, profusely enough?
Sometimes my visions are two hour movies. And I try to jot down the good parts best I can. My writing is second to my seeing it. I hope to capture the essence of it really. Hopefully.
Your comment is whup ass. Lol. Thank you!
Happy holidays fellow Floridian!
Sometimes my visions are two hour movies. And I try to jot down the good parts best I can. My writing is second to my seeing it. I hope to capture the essence of it really. Hopefully.
Your comment is whup ass. Lol. Thank you!
Happy holidays fellow Floridian!
28th Dec 2023 9:03pm
You and Adelphina should definitely write a book of poetry together. This is heartfelt work.
30th Dec 2023 6:28pm
Thanks so much! Our future is limitless. For now, time is the only restraint. So we kinda spend a lot of time catching up!
Also, her true writing passion seems to lean towards screen plays. And I do like to write short stories. So perhaps our literary union will lead us in that direction.
In the meantime, we all have DUP to share our writes in. Including you, my dear.
Happy New Year!
Also, her true writing passion seems to lean towards screen plays. And I do like to write short stories. So perhaps our literary union will lead us in that direction.
In the meantime, we all have DUP to share our writes in. Including you, my dear.
Happy New Year!
30th Dec 2023 11:56pm
2nd Jan 2024 00:30am
Well I have had the flu this weekend. But it kept me from going out, and drinking and driving. Too risky .
Happy New Year Ahavati !
Happy New Year Ahavati !
Love, love this story of yours Styx. Holidays used to be so fun. Family gatherings, giving of gifts and the supposed joy on the recipient's face. And, let's be honest receiving gifts is even better yet. How fun!
I have a different take on the holidays though and have for a number of years. It is a downer for most I'm sure. I'm a ba humbug type of person these days.. I'm going to write about it soon. You see I have to wonder about where our economies would be without the every fucking month holiday, christmas being the grand finale and the most expensive. Government waits with baited breath to see the figures, the dollar signs. And, the hype of it all. Holidays are money making machines.
I'm sorry to be a downer, love the poem though.
I have a different take on the holidays though and have for a number of years. It is a downer for most I'm sure. I'm a ba humbug type of person these days.. I'm going to write about it soon. You see I have to wonder about where our economies would be without the every fucking month holiday, christmas being the grand finale and the most expensive. Government waits with baited breath to see the figures, the dollar signs. And, the hype of it all. Holidays are money making machines.
I'm sorry to be a downer, love the poem though.
26th Jan 2024 1:59am
Hello, thanks for popping in!
Your points are valid, about the commercialization of Christmas. I tend to keep it simpler though.
And, my write is obviously not so much about the whole gift exchange aspect. It's more just a couple doing their thing, during the holiday break. Trying to enjoy what they can before the time is gone. Ya know?
Your points are valid, about the commercialization of Christmas. I tend to keep it simpler though.
And, my write is obviously not so much about the whole gift exchange aspect. It's more just a couple doing their thing, during the holiday break. Trying to enjoy what they can before the time is gone. Ya know?
