WISHES AND PRAYERS

wishes are prayers
and i pray all the time -
beseeching gods
and angels,
interrupting
their leisure,
wanting

nagging

all my prayers are secret
and i wonder
if they transform my
meager virtue
into lies --

is my love a lie?

my commitment?

the promises i keep?

is it a lie to live
as though i have no secrets,
to keep some cards hidden,
to look my lover in the eye
and pretend satisfaction?

because i am a clandestine
master of yearning,
always sniffing the air,
tugging quietly
at the leash,

remembering this one
or that

seeing

wanting