even zombies dream of sleep

 
I'm curled up in the
foetal position on the couch
wearing my saline tears
like a retro fashion statement
no one will get to see

Today I broke again
and my brain has decided
to say no to everything
that isnt this trauma position
which is neither
comfortable nor helpful

And every push through
is a push back
every time I step outside
means I'll spend
tomorrow daydreaming about sleep
(or death)
these days they look
a little bit the same

Because I can't sleep enough
to breathe life back
into the tiredness of my bones
that need more than sleep
to want to live again

I'm curled up in the
foetal position on the couch
wearing my saline tears
wishing someone could see me