deepundergroundpoetry.com
outside the lines...
I am not made to be any man's...
...everything...
I don't believe it's possible
...not for me anyway
I would blame it on my many fractures
...they can be a lot to manage
the nature & texture of my damage
...never an easy street
but truth is...it's just me
...I'm complicated
{or as my ex recently called me...complex}
as much as I crave their company
eventually I need them to leave
so I can breathe
...recalibrate
...come back to us rejuvenated
I'm more a vibe or a mood
a flavor the palate craves
...inexplicably
...but not always necessary
in the moment...only I will do
my shadows can abrade
my triggers unsettle
...as they do me
coming as they do with no warning
...like living a game of Russian roulette
never know what or when it's coming
I don't hold it against them if they run
...it simply wasn't meant to be
men tire of my idiosyncrasies...
{as do I...}
I'm not a good fit as their one & only constant
I stopped trying to fill that particular mold
...it only ends in pain
...for me...them...or both
there are things he may need that I'm unable to provide
limitations designed by past experience
places I don't want to go
{emotional...physical...or otherwise}
...and when I love...
...I will never intentionally deprive
I'm grateful if he can find it elsewhere
...and still return wanting me
I know both my strengths & my weakness
...you might be surprised to find which is which...
they flip flop...and dovetail
but in one realm I am exquisite
when I love...it comes with no limits
my heart is a well full of giving...
tell me where I stand...
...I can stand there forever
...a living vessel swelling with love
be honest & treat me respectfully
...and I'm solid
come & go
do your thing...no problem
just don't ask me to be your one & only...
swearing you'll be true to just me...
...then turn away & be gone
as we both know you will...
...eventually
just be honest...or move on
I did try to warn you...
...perhaps it bears repeating
no...
...I am not made for such things
...not me...
I don't mind sharing the load
...not exclusively seeing to your needs
...afterall...
we don't eat the same meal every day
there is beauty in variety
different gifts come in each package
understood & accepted
...respected...
...by all parties
unconventional...maybe
but it works for me
because I know...
...what I give...
...can only be gotten from me
Just trying to articulate & process my needs...it's not for everybody...those who get it...will understand...
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