One Picture Is Worth Two Six-Line Stanzas in Iambic Pentameter

or  
 
Carl, Edgar, Robert, and Oscar -- The Boys in Her Shadow  
 
*  
 
Upon a dark and dreary windswept night,  
my evil shadow self, Edwina Hyde,  
desiring hard to get a wee bit tight,  
against my wishes took me for a ride,  
till speeding through a changing yellow light,  
she stopped at Starbucks on the wilder side.  
 
Then ordered she a coffee large sans cream  
to go with my small bagel toasted plain,  
and in what seemed a dream within a dream,  
we gorged on sin at each new Starbucks chain --  
while locked inside a room my picture queer  
     lost pounds around its hips and thighs and rear . . .  
 
*