The Truth doesnt always Set you free.....

Ive been a victim, once again  
when in the fuck will this ever end?    
   
Ive been groped by a family members husband....  
shes my bestie, my blood, my "sister"  
   
What do you say? How does it come up?  
I chose to hide it, shove it aside  
   
Handle it, privately...be tough...  
Told him Id kill him if he ever touched me again  
   
Then that was it, yet I hear things of others  
so why didnt I speak up?  
   
A family member is dying  
fuck cancer....  
   
Sister called me tonight, asking if her husband has touched me    
inappropriately  
   
She begged please dont lie  
I started to stutter and cry  
   
I told her all of it, every time  
as we both sobbed  
   
I wanted to fib, yet could not, it was time  
now I feel awful  
   
Responsible  
At fault  
The reason  
   
Years of PTSD/addiction controlled  
now on the line  
   
A cool line sounds really fucking great right now  
but im here typing....debating....contemplating....  
   
Ill settle for a Whiskey, 4 deep, neat  
then try to go to bed  
and deal with this fucking shit tomorrow, all over again.....