deepundergroundpoetry.com
Catatonic
Shape indiscretion
as it lies
Despise the chaos;
absorb the guise
As you wander around
without your heart
You clamour, unending,
yet make a new start
As you wander away
without your soul
You adopt another
but it takes it’s toll
It’s unsteady here. I feel neurotic
The darkness spreads— I’m catatonic
How do I escape this mottled skin
That my spirit has just wallowed in
Should I tug at the seams
or loosen the knots?
Spread the incision
or wait till it rots
Will I walk away,
healed anew?
It takes so much design,
I haven’t a clue
as it lies
Despise the chaos;
absorb the guise
As you wander around
without your heart
You clamour, unending,
yet make a new start
As you wander away
without your soul
You adopt another
but it takes it’s toll
It’s unsteady here. I feel neurotic
The darkness spreads— I’m catatonic
How do I escape this mottled skin
That my spirit has just wallowed in
Should I tug at the seams
or loosen the knots?
Spread the incision
or wait till it rots
Will I walk away,
healed anew?
It takes so much design,
I haven’t a clue
Published 26th Jun 2023
| Edited 27th Oct 2024
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26th Jun 2023 11:12pm
Sounds like a depressing way to see the world. I like the spin you put on the relationship part "As you wander away without your soul
You adopt another but it takes it’s toll It’s unsteady here. I feel neurotic The darkness spreads— I’m catatonic." Kind of like a toxicity of relationship, or materialistic persona, and someone perhaps seeing that in self-and/or others. Could also be simple distaste at lies and dishonesty in the world. Could also be like the mind rejecting the body, in general. I see some of that in the ending, too. The transitions of emotion in expression are numerous, and capture quite an extent of perceptions in the changing environments. I like how the end, the narrative is concluded the most, yet confused the most, throughout the depiction of the body of work. I sensed some anger, change, difficulty, depression, question, identity, and cluelessness, but not necessarily all in that order, in this poem. Anyway, that's just some of what I interpret. I really enjoyed reading this. Looking forward to more of your work.
You adopt another but it takes it’s toll It’s unsteady here. I feel neurotic The darkness spreads— I’m catatonic." Kind of like a toxicity of relationship, or materialistic persona, and someone perhaps seeing that in self-and/or others. Could also be simple distaste at lies and dishonesty in the world. Could also be like the mind rejecting the body, in general. I see some of that in the ending, too. The transitions of emotion in expression are numerous, and capture quite an extent of perceptions in the changing environments. I like how the end, the narrative is concluded the most, yet confused the most, throughout the depiction of the body of work. I sensed some anger, change, difficulty, depression, question, identity, and cluelessness, but not necessarily all in that order, in this poem. Anyway, that's just some of what I interpret. I really enjoyed reading this. Looking forward to more of your work.
2nd Aug 2023 11:16pm
