Successful Loser

Bukowski’s tombstone
reads:
“Don’t try.”

Bukowski’s success
was comfort with himself
as a failure

Bukowski
didn’t give a fuck
about success

after his fame

he showed up
to poetry readings
hammered

verbally abused people
exposed himself in public
tried to sleep with every woman he saw

fame and success
didn’t make Bukowski
a better person

nor did he became
famous and successful
by becoming a better person

Bukowski’s success
was comfort with himself
as a failure

self-improvement
and success
often occur together

that doesn’t mean
they’re the
same thing

culture today
is obsessively focused on
unrealistically positive expectations

be happier
be healthier
be the best (better than the rest)

be smarter faster richer sexier
more popular more productive
more envied more admired

be perfect
amazing
(crap out golden nuggets)

kiss your
selfie-ready spouse
and two and a half perfect  kids

fly your private jet
to your
wonderful fulfilling job

spend your days
doing incredibly meaningful work
(that’s likely to save the planet one day)

when you stop
and really think about it
conventional life advice

all the positive and happy
self-help stuff is actually
fixating on what you lack

it lasers on
what you perceive to be
personal shortcomings and failures

(then emphasizes them for you)

you learn
about
ways to make money

because
you feel
you don’t have enough

you stand
facing the mirror
repeating affirmations

because
you feel
you’re not beautiful

you
follow
relationship advice

because
you feel
you’re unlovable

you
try goofy visualizations
about success

because
you feel
you aren’t successful enough

ironically
fixation

on the positive
on what’s better
what’s superior

serves as reminders
over and over again
of what we are not

of what we lack
of what we should have been
(but failed to be)

after all
no truly happy person
needs

to stand
in front of
a mirror

to recite
that
they’re happy

they just are

fame and success
didn’t make Bukowski
a better person

Bukowski
didn’t give a fuck
about being successful

he just was

(C)2023 Raibeart Bruis