deepundergroundpoetry.com
Untitled VI
Bury my heart
in the crook of the old tree:
let it beat new life where
there is none.
Place my eyes
in the palm of your hands
so that my spirit will clearly see you.
Thread my ears with twine
wrapped round your neck,
that I might hear your secret
whispers of truest love.
Cast my smile in resin,
preserving it for a melancholy day.
Scatter my hair to the four
corners, so the crows may build
magnificent nests.
In your time of sorrow,
take me apart with systematic love—
Anchor yourself to my atrophy.
in the crook of the old tree:
let it beat new life where
there is none.
Place my eyes
in the palm of your hands
so that my spirit will clearly see you.
Thread my ears with twine
wrapped round your neck,
that I might hear your secret
whispers of truest love.
Cast my smile in resin,
preserving it for a melancholy day.
Scatter my hair to the four
corners, so the crows may build
magnificent nests.
In your time of sorrow,
take me apart with systematic love—
Anchor yourself to my atrophy.
Author's Note
6/30
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 12
reading list entries 2
comments 17
reads 277
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re. Untitled VI
7th Apr 2023 00:25am
Re: Re. Untitled VI
7th Apr 2023 00:48am
Aw, thank you. This one kinda flopped out. I was grateful to not have to struggle for it today.
Re. Untitled VI
7th Apr 2023 00:37am
I hope I am not too ghoulish in suggesting that this ought to be read wherever folks get their drivers license in order to encourage that they sign up to be organ donors.
It really is an adroitly written and lovely sentiment.
It really is an adroitly written and lovely sentiment.
0
Re: Re. Untitled VI
7th Apr 2023 00:54am
I love ghoulish. It’s a bit of ghoul and a bit of love. I don’t write love poems very often.
Thank you for reading and leaving a fun and lovely comment.
Thank you for reading and leaving a fun and lovely comment.
Re. Untitled VI
7th Apr 2023 1:31am
Hahaha, tight we love this being considered atrophy, we tend to think of wasted love often. Tight.
0
Re: Re. Untitled VI
8th Apr 2023 00:52am
Re. Untitled VI
7th Apr 2023 3:10am
I love the alchemy of the opening stanza, the emotional tone it sets beneath its imagery. Each stanza establishes a deliberate visceral presence that grants the write a sense of presence, as the closing two stanzas confirm. Its well constructed, proportional, has emphasis, economy and precision.
0
Re: Re. Untitled VI
8th Apr 2023 00:54am
Thank you for such a lovely and thoughtful comment. I like the use of the word "visceral". I think that nails it down. The poem is love, but it's not easy love and it's not always happy love, but it is love.
Thank you, Daniel!
Thank you, Daniel!
Re. Untitled VI
7th Apr 2023 3:37am
This needs a title! It's too good to be without one.
It's amazing, Eerie. I absolutely love it.
It's amazing, Eerie. I absolutely love it.
0
Re: Re. Untitled VI
8th Apr 2023 00:57am
Ahhhh!!!! Some of these NaPo pieces will get to grow up and be given proper names. For now, they are Untitled numbers (this one will be edited and given a name).
Thank you, Styx, I am glad you liked it :)
Thank you, Styx, I am glad you liked it :)
Re. Untitled VI
7th Apr 2023 7:08am
Re. Untitled VI
7th Apr 2023 1:04pm
Re: Re. Untitled VI
8th Apr 2023 00:57am
Re. Untitled VI
8th Apr 2023 6:19pm
Re. Untitled VI
9th Apr 2023 12:21pm
I enjoyed how you painted an image or well imagaes, and the words flow nicely.
LJ
LJ
0
Re. Untitled VI
17th May 2023 2:03pm