deepundergroundpoetry.com
straight forward metaphor
do you see me brother?, why of course you do
I see your men of course I do
I see your plan
did you really think I would cross over?
no, really you didn't
you know better about me
I belong to him
my house will fall, I will burn if he orders
your dream is obscene
get off my block son
you're treading murky waters
no Luce, I am an underwater swimmer
I see in the dark without eyes
keep your offer I don't seek to rule with you
I didn't come for money
I am a royal soldier of old
streets of old, streets of gold, brothers in blood
I told you something that day
you remember me?
my name is sacred
I hear your mockery, stalkery
braggard do you wish to boast?, of course you do
or you wouldn't be so obvious
Published 28th Mar 2023
Author's Note
Michael, Gabriel, Uriel
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 8
reading list entries 4
comments 8
reads 264
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
28th Mar 2023 6:30pm
The poem appears to depict a tense exchange between two characters, with one character rejecting an offer made by the other. The language used in the dialogue is informal, with a mixture of poetic phrases and colloquialisms, which adds to the feeling of ambiguity and mystery in the conversation.
The dialogue is full of repetition, which serves to emphasize certain phrases and ideas. This repetition also creates a sense of tension and conflict between the two characters, with the rejection of the offer serving as a climax to the exchange.
The name "Luce" implies that one of the characters may be associated with light or enlightenment. In contrast, the other character is portrayed as an underwater swimmer who can see in the dark. This contrast further highlights the power struggle between the two characters, with one seemingly possessing knowledge and insight that the other lacks.
Mcjay
The dialogue is full of repetition, which serves to emphasize certain phrases and ideas. This repetition also creates a sense of tension and conflict between the two characters, with the rejection of the offer serving as a climax to the exchange.
The name "Luce" implies that one of the characters may be associated with light or enlightenment. In contrast, the other character is portrayed as an underwater swimmer who can see in the dark. This contrast further highlights the power struggle between the two characters, with one seemingly possessing knowledge and insight that the other lacks.
Mcjay
28th Mar 2023 6:46pm
The poem read to me like a fight against the dark side. Your words held strength and power. Nicely done! 🖤
29th Mar 2023 3:03pm
1st Apr 2023 1:50am
Like Angelic tongues spoken in a language we can understand.
Powerful stuff.
Powerful stuff.
7th Apr 2023 3:12am
Not wanting to join The elites. And I'm guessing by the name Luce you mean lucifer. Though maybe I'm wrong.
I really enjoyed this it's powerful 🙌
I really enjoyed this it's powerful 🙌
7th Apr 2023 4:32am
I love them no doubt but our tastes are different these days...still I am very happy for them...
7th Apr 2023 4:48am
7th Apr 2023 4:53am
who would I leave out? what a lonely existence you would have with just me in tow... sadness and happiness confounds me... I have to be a grownup now they are you are.
