deepundergroundpoetry.com
Cinder Block Castle
I was taught by my father
How to build a fortress
A Cinder Block Castle
With high heartless walls
Where I play scratched records
On the tip of my flawed claws
Hoping for different endings
My insanity was given birth
Seeping into the concrete
Blooming poisonous flowers
A masquerade of nightshade
Herb veins of Spearmint
The color of vibrant jade
Tempting men to climb
Hand over suicidal hand
Trigger fingers shaped like bullets
Digging into the outdoor mortar
Stirring clouds of crumbs and rock
While inching and crawling upward
Alongside death growing outside
Dangling off the walls
Waiting for the
Dust to settle
For a peek inside
My Cinder Block Castle
How to build a fortress
A Cinder Block Castle
With high heartless walls
Where I play scratched records
On the tip of my flawed claws
Hoping for different endings
My insanity was given birth
Seeping into the concrete
Blooming poisonous flowers
A masquerade of nightshade
Herb veins of Spearmint
The color of vibrant jade
Tempting men to climb
Hand over suicidal hand
Trigger fingers shaped like bullets
Digging into the outdoor mortar
Stirring clouds of crumbs and rock
While inching and crawling upward
Alongside death growing outside
Dangling off the walls
Waiting for the
Dust to settle
For a peek inside
My Cinder Block Castle
Published 18th Mar 2023
Author's Note
My dad just finished an awesome job where he laid
a crap load of cinder block. Looked like a mini fortress and off
my mind went.
caught my typo!!
I lost my readers. hahaha
listening to
Metric - Artificial Nocturne
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmYRRcaQLno
a crap load of cinder block. Looked like a mini fortress and off
my mind went.
caught my typo!!
I lost my readers. hahaha
listening to
Metric - Artificial Nocturne
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmYRRcaQLno
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 15
reading list entries 7
comments 31
reads 814
Commenting Preference:
The author is looking for friendly feedback.
18th Mar 2023 7:07pm
You didn't lose me as a follower!
How's you?
And your write; Guarded. Walls up for protection, not so much as a warning.
The "inching and crawling upward" is their effort, because if it's built like Fort Knox, theres gold inside.
And your poem here is a gleaming example of that. You came back in here rock hard!
Staying?
How's you?
And your write; Guarded. Walls up for protection, not so much as a warning.
The "inching and crawling upward" is their effort, because if it's built like Fort Knox, theres gold inside.
And your poem here is a gleaming example of that. You came back in here rock hard!
Staying?
18th Mar 2023 7:14pm
Hey Styx:)
I'm doing great actually. Thanks for asking:)
I just had a vision when I saw my dad working with
cinder block - a friend of his was building it for his daughter.
It's a bit different since usually people frame using wood - but not
this guy. LOL
It does come across like protection - but not for me - for the climber. Blahahahahaha. LOL
Have a great day buddy:)
I'm doing great actually. Thanks for asking:)
I just had a vision when I saw my dad working with
cinder block - a friend of his was building it for his daughter.
It's a bit different since usually people frame using wood - but not
this guy. LOL
It does come across like protection - but not for me - for the climber. Blahahahahaha. LOL
Have a great day buddy:)
Anonymous
18th Mar 2023 7:08pm
What an amazing poem! Good to see you, dear Adelphina😊
18th Mar 2023 7:20pm
Hi Her!!!
Nice to see your lovely face up:)
Thank you for that.
I was feeling in a dark mood.
Went to the movies and watched Scream 6 . LOL
Thanks for the RL !!
Nice to see your lovely face up:)
Thank you for that.
I was feeling in a dark mood.
Went to the movies and watched Scream 6 . LOL
Thanks for the RL !!
18th Mar 2023 7:21pm
Wow… this one had me rereading… the mark of excellence… one of your best my dear… love where this took you…
18th Mar 2023 7:32pm
Hi LilD
I'm totally stoked I got a Wow out of ya!
Thank you so so much.
Needed to bring it to life on paper -the whole
vision I had watching my dad work.
Thanks for the RL!!
I'm totally stoked I got a Wow out of ya!
Thank you so so much.
Needed to bring it to life on paper -the whole
vision I had watching my dad work.
Thanks for the RL!!
18th Mar 2023 8:20pm
The walls were made out of love and a necessity. Only pure kindness and heart should be able to make it to the other side
21st Mar 2023 10:04pm
Hi Tim!
You are 100 percent right! Or maybe wait to be
invited in:)
Love this comment:)
thanks for the RL and stopping by amigo
You are 100 percent right! Or maybe wait to be
invited in:)
Love this comment:)
thanks for the RL and stopping by amigo
Makes me wonder if people in glass houses know what awaits them. One can't wander, soulless, without a way of getting back. Once you have lost the essence of truth, you become fodder. Excellent writing.
21st Mar 2023 10:07pm
Hi PaleSkies,
Life has a way of making people tough.
Enduring the endurable.
Sometimes makes what's right or wrong foggy.
Thank you for the excellent writing comment:)
Made my day!
Life has a way of making people tough.
Enduring the endurable.
Sometimes makes what's right or wrong foggy.
Thank you for the excellent writing comment:)
Made my day!
18th Mar 2023 9:10pm
Quite a return to the Underground Hot Sauce.
Wheeling and dealing with building materials.
Now you’re taking my language.
Excellent look inside and I know from what you speak on mind and soul.
BIG LIKE
Wheeling and dealing with building materials.
Now you’re taking my language.
Excellent look inside and I know from what you speak on mind and soul.
BIG LIKE
21st Mar 2023 10:10pm
Hi PS
I'm so happy you enjoyed my Cinder Block Castle!!
My dad had been doing rock work all his adult life.
It's an art!
You should see some of the fireplaces he's built!!
Sometimes we do build our own defenses to deal
with how life can be turned upside down. Better to be
prepared then unprepared.
Thanks for the RL and visiting!
I'm so happy you enjoyed my Cinder Block Castle!!
My dad had been doing rock work all his adult life.
It's an art!
You should see some of the fireplaces he's built!!
Sometimes we do build our own defenses to deal
with how life can be turned upside down. Better to be
prepared then unprepared.
Thanks for the RL and visiting!
18th Mar 2023 11:16pm
We all have walls when it come to relationships. Everything is complicated. Keep on writing.
21st Mar 2023 10:12pm
Hey Sisco,
Walls are good - just in case.
Nothing of value should come too easy - IMHO:)
Thanks for the visit!
Walls are good - just in case.
Nothing of value should come too easy - IMHO:)
Thanks for the visit!
22nd Mar 2023 1:48am
19th Mar 2023 3:49am
Dear A,
Second stanza! Mic drop! Really enjoyed the scene and getting to know about your dad. The idea of a cinder block castle sounds divine. No more nonsense. Just my own little queendom! 👑
Wonderful to see you and your post!
H🌷
Second stanza! Mic drop! Really enjoyed the scene and getting to know about your dad. The idea of a cinder block castle sounds divine. No more nonsense. Just my own little queendom! 👑
Wonderful to see you and your post!
H🌷
22nd Mar 2023 10:19pm
Hi H!!
I totally replied to this but looks like it didn't save!!
Yes - it was a mini fortress.
We are a queens so why not!!!
You are one of my favorite people ever!!!
Thank you so much for taking the time to read:)
And for the RL
Looks like I gotta work on my RL file.
I can't RL anything anymore!!
At my limit? Huuummm - hahaha
later chica:)
I totally replied to this but looks like it didn't save!!
Yes - it was a mini fortress.
We are a queens so why not!!!
You are one of my favorite people ever!!!
Thank you so much for taking the time to read:)
And for the RL
Looks like I gotta work on my RL file.
I can't RL anything anymore!!
At my limit? Huuummm - hahaha
later chica:)
Hey Cipher!!
I could have sworn there was a longer comment from you. haha
Thanks for the comment buddy.
All of my dads brothers are contractors of some sort.
Their work ethic and the drive to make money got
them out of bed and onto the next job.
Thanks for the RL and stopping by:)
I could have sworn there was a longer comment from you. haha
Thanks for the comment buddy.
All of my dads brothers are contractors of some sort.
Their work ethic and the drive to make money got
them out of bed and onto the next job.
Thanks for the RL and stopping by:)
19th Mar 2023 10:10pm
21st Mar 2023 10:16pm
Hi J.C.
Thank you so much!!
I truly appreciate that:)
Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to read:)
Welcome to DUP!
Thank you so much!!
I truly appreciate that:)
Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to read:)
Welcome to DUP!
25th Mar 2023 6:32pm
I love that you included some background in your author's note, making the poem that more precious.
LJ
LJ
1st Apr 2023 8:55pm
Hi LJ
I'm a chatty person. I always try to leave a little somethin somethin
in every authors note. I can't help it. LOL
You just never know if it can help someone or maybe even give some inspiration. Thanks for the precious comment!!!
Made my day:)
I'm a chatty person. I always try to leave a little somethin somethin
in every authors note. I can't help it. LOL
You just never know if it can help someone or maybe even give some inspiration. Thanks for the precious comment!!!
Made my day:)
28th Mar 2023 6:38am
Really enjoyed this one, A
Loved your inspiration and the effects it had to flush out your creativity...
I'm so glad you've stopped in to share your awesome pen with us!
Hope you enjoyed The Last Of Us!
It was epic
Look forward to seeing you 🦋
🌹 💙
B
Loved your inspiration and the effects it had to flush out your creativity...
I'm so glad you've stopped in to share your awesome pen with us!
Hope you enjoyed The Last Of Us!
It was epic
Look forward to seeing you 🦋
🌹 💙
B
1st Apr 2023 8:59pm
Hi B!!
So happy to see you and I am delighted you enjoyed my little
cinder block castle. They are a lot of work but so worthwhile!!!
The Last Of Us!! OMG
I watched every Sunday and was quite impressed.
My older son played the video game and said it was awesome.
So much so he didn't want to watch the series in case they ruin
it. hahaha
Thank you so much for your visit:)
So happy to see you and I am delighted you enjoyed my little
cinder block castle. They are a lot of work but so worthwhile!!!
The Last Of Us!! OMG
I watched every Sunday and was quite impressed.
My older son played the video game and said it was awesome.
So much so he didn't want to watch the series in case they ruin
it. hahaha
Thank you so much for your visit:)
Anonymous
30th Mar 2023 8:20pm
<< post removed >>
1st Apr 2023 9:05pm
Well hello Mr. Black!!
That was quite the introduction!! Holy crap. hahaha
Loved how you put your own vibe on my write.
Too cool!!
It's pretty awesome so thank you.
Made my Saturday. Kinda speechless actually. That doesn't happen often or easily btw:)
Thanks again for the read:)
That was quite the introduction!! Holy crap. hahaha
Loved how you put your own vibe on my write.
Too cool!!
It's pretty awesome so thank you.
Made my Saturday. Kinda speechless actually. That doesn't happen often or easily btw:)
Thanks again for the read:)
1st Apr 2023 2:13pm
Yeah i can totally relate to the heartless high walls thing, a necessity to avoid being played and feelings toyed.
Kudos for this fab metaphorical poem wow!!
Plz also read and comment my newest poem too.
Kudos for this fab metaphorical poem wow!!
Plz also read and comment my newest poem too.
1st Apr 2023 9:10pm
Hi Z
Thank you for all of your snaps on my poem.
No toying with feelings! It always ends up making a mess.
Thanks for the read!!
Thank you for all of your snaps on my poem.
No toying with feelings! It always ends up making a mess.
Thanks for the read!!
8th May 2023 10:17am
Wow. This is a delightfully dark poem, going straight to my RL. Well done! That scary castle sounds like quite a climb :)
Mundus
Mundus
22nd May 2023 2:56am
Hey Mun,
I'm so happy you enjoyed this piece!!
Thank you for all the snaps on this.
Thanks for the RL
Woop Woop!!
I'm so happy you enjoyed this piece!!
Thank you for all the snaps on this.
Thanks for the RL
Woop Woop!!
