Reflections

Rotten is the mind that thinks of the nice
When pain is the place that leads us to see
And not be blind, in the kind
Of way that we shy and hide
But fight online
And cry in our mum’s house
On the sly and rewind
Back to the man who’s
Outward and kind
For half a week
Until we speak
With a beer and a high five
With a
Miscellaneous man
At a the bar with a tie
And a good suit and a fine
Way of thinking
Fucking why am I
Trying to please these geezer
Who I wouldn’t give the time
In a day to day role
Cos he’s not my type of guy
I just use the sense of belonging
To hide all my fight
Then I let it all out
Once I’ve had a bellyful of slime
Cos it makes me think different
It distorts all the lines
Between being myself and
That other kinda guy
Who shys
Away from himself
He’s too fucking scared
To be alone with his fears
And his insecurities
And the hole that is there
With the pain and the suffering
Cos no one even cares
And if he ever asks out
He’s surprised that people care
So he retracts back
To the back and the fact
He won’t ask
Is the reason he’s not here
In the moment
With all his friends and his peers
The ones he pushing away
Cos he doesn’t even care
The less people that know
The real man that isn’t there
Is the place where he feels safe
And it’s a dark and awful stare
That looks back in the mirror
He can hardly even bare
To wake up in the morning
And know it isn’t fair
To feel this bad
When there’s nothing to compare
To the wars going on
And he listens to a song
And thinks
I have no right to feel this bad
They’ve all got it worse
You’re a fake, you’re a sham
You lie in your bed
Waiting for a little plan
To come and sort it all out
Like your mum
Or your dad
But you gotta be a man
So you fight your demons
Thinking it’s all part of the plan
Then you drop the ego
And realise damn…
It was there all along.
It’s just part of being a man